It's been a little while again since I posted. Life has been busy, to say the least. Tonight I have a meeting to coordinate, but I don't have much motivation to invest more time. It is hard to do that when people assume they know your motives - and often you only hear from the ones who assume the worst - and there is little hope of persuading them otherwise. I was actually approached by someone who said basically, "I know how these things work. Tell me the truth - isn't ____ really going on?"
Now, as much as I try to explain that ____ is truly not the case, they have it in their mind that I am taking some official stance. I don't know how to convince someone who is so suspicious - it seems like the only thing that would satisfy him was, "Yup, you're right" - but it simply is not true.
But far more disappointing is the lack of involvement of some people within the group. I am a firm believer in the concept of group wisdom, the concept of teamwork, and the concept of sharing the burdens according to giftedness rather than titles. But many people are not. When you don't agree on this fundamental level, what do you do? Do you break away and start another organization? Do you find another organization with those values? Or do you stay and fight for change from the inside?
What do you do? I would have given up a long time ago if it were not for the fact that I believe God has me here for a reason. I have started to think and pray about other opportunities, but until I believe it is God's will for me to move on, I feel like I must keep on persevering.
How do you deal with people who are not only not perfect, but downright unlikeable at times? I know I don't speak as an outsider, so I'm including myself. I guess what I would want is for people to talk with me (not at me) about their concerns, but do it in such a way that it is not draining on the energy with which I serve. It's tough to deal with nit-pickers - no matter how many times the quote "It's the little foxes that spoil ..." Especially when they come up with no new ideas themselves and don't have a clue to how they suck the air right out of a room. But what do you do when someone is unwilling to hear hard things, when someone is so convinced they're right that to criticize them is to have joined the enemy?
I'm so tired of people into power. I just read a disheartening article about one of the guys I liked to occasionally read about on the web. He apparently has switched course and rejects the idea of a multiplicity of counselors - to oppose him is to be fired. Lord, what a mess we are making of your church. Please change us so that we stop devouring each other. We think too highly of ourselves and we forget we arfe servants, not kings. Woe to us if we think and act otherwise ...
Someday, when all the thoughts and motives are laid bare, what shame we will have for how our hearts chased after other things besides you. All praise to you, though, that we are not accepted by you on the basis of works, but on the faith we have in your Son ...
What a glorious and dreadful day that will be!
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