The Boston Marathon Bombing and our fear ...

What do you do when your fears have merit? We love to label our fears: acrophobia - fear of heights; Triskaidekaphobia - fear of the number 13; Arachibutyrophobia - the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Sometimes, these fears have little connection to the reality of this world, but other times they reflect a real danger in the world which we cannot control. If you have a fear of flying, no amount of rational talk may calm your fear. Even though the statistics say that flying is safer than driving, it is still a fact that some planes do in fact crash. This fear or anxiety of flying is a pessimistic prediction about the future: I know the likelihood of a crash is low, but some planes do in fact, crash - and I'm sure that this plane I'm about to get on is one of those planes. You cannot rationally talk someone out of this fear, because there is logic in much of their argument. So what do you do when you live in a world where bad things do happen? What do you do when you live in a world where someone would bomb the runners and spectators of the Boston Marathon? How do we protect ourselves from this danger? The experts will do their best figuring out who and how and why this occurred, though that will be little comfort for those who lost loved ones and limbs in the attack. I suspect there will be far fewer spectators next year at the Marathon because it is nearly impossible to protect 26 miles of a public course through the city. The fear of "what if it happens again?" will probably lead to many watching at home on the TV. I know that fear - my family had to go to Dallas in October of 2001. I decided that we would drive rather than fly because I did not want to face the uncertainty of "what might happen." That turned out to be a memorable trip for us, travelling through a few states for the first time. Is there any other option? Is there any hope? Is the answer "You can't let them win by making us afraid" or "Just don't think about it" or even a fatalistic "if it is your time to go, you can't change that?" People who have a naturalistic world view must in the end deal with it in their own strength, for there is no one greater to appeal to. But for the Christian, we must remember that nothing that happens on this earth goes unnoticed. Our pain is not merely the electrical response to stimuli, but moves God's heart. Sure, there are hard questions to ask about the existence of evil, but in times of grief and fear, we need to know that Our Father sees, hears, and comforts us even in the most grievous circumstances. The only way to navigate this broken world where evil people do evil things is to know that there is someone greater than those who plot evil. The solution to our fear is not a technique, not denying the reality of life, and not finding strength in ourselves. Trust in the One who rules the Universe settles fear. That's not a guarantee that bad things will not happen, but that you will not be alone if they do. And nothing comes into your life that does not first pass through His nail-pierced hands. This world is not the way it should be, and it is not forever. One day, for those who trust Christ, when we see Him face to face we will be like Him - and all pain, all suffering, all sin, all death, all decay, all destruction, all seperation from what is good will be gone. And he will wipe every tear from our eye ...

Is Happiness the Goal?

Sometimes we think the goal of life is happiness. After all, who doesn’t want to be happy? But this world is broken because of sin and we know that things happen that make us unhappy – the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, moody teenagers, a seemingly destructive national decision that we often feel powerless to affect, or even something as small as stubbing our toe as we walk outside on a beautiful spring day. We seem to naturally think that life should go well for us, and we get confused when it doesn’t. Sometimes, we blame God – we think that since we try to serve him that he should make everything in our lives work out well. We hold up our righteousness to him – the good things we have done – and say essentially, “Am I not owed a good life because of all this?” It does not help that our culture and sometimes even our churches feed into these notions. I’ve heard non-Christians use the principle of “karma” to try to explain such things, but is that the answer – a non-personal universe that keeps score and levels the playing field with no mercy? Yet Christians often unknowingly make the same connections – you did this and now that is happening to you. The Bible presents a very different picture about our God and the world he has created.

You life is not just about your life. Your life is a scene in the Grand Play – God’s Story. Your life has meaning and purpose that is far beyond the bounds of the dash between your birth and death on a tombstone. What happens to us and how we react – what we run to – is of eternal importance. God wants to do more than just enter your story and make everything work out the way you think it should. God is not an errand boy who makes our agenda come to pass, but is instead the Grand Playwright, the Great Director, and the Master Storyteller. He has a destiny for you that is far bigger and better than your own dreams and desires. We are also a part of the story that involves the others around us – the play is not our own monologue, but a vast array of characters far beyond our view. God is the Great Redeemer, and we are the recipients of the Great Redemption. His redemptive work has an end goal far better than our mere happiness in seeing our dreams come to pass. His redemptive goal is that we each one day will be like Jesus – that when we stand before Him face to face, we will be like Him. At that time, all of our tears will be wiped away, all of our striving will cease, death and sickness will be no more – and that will be true happiness in the fullest sense of the word! That destiny is guaranteed for all believers because of what Christ has accomplished, and not because of our own performance. So, in the fullest way, happiness will one day be the glorious by-product of being like Jesus, and you will be happier than you can now imagine.

But right now, we are in the midst of our scene. The play is not over. The end of the story has been written and the outcome is secure – but it is not here yet. In the midst of this play, there is much conflict, war, and bloodshed. The enemy is raging, wanting to destroy as much as possible before his time comes. There are still casualties. Death, decay, and discord are a part of this life because we rebelled against a Loving and Holy God. But this same God who rightfully could pour down his wrath upon us all and sweep us away in a moment, chooses to enter our lives, redeem us and fight for us! He will never leave us nor forsake us for His Own Name’s sake! When the play is over, we will marvel at the depth of His love, His mercy, His patience, His justice, and His wrath. He will be known more fully because of the story, and we will praise Him all the more!

What does this mean for us in the midst of life, and specifically our marriages? It means that God has a plan far more complete and complex than you can imagine. The experiences and situations of your life are not random events, and they are not merely the events of an out-of-control world. This is Holy Ground and must not be taken lightly, for this means even our sufferings are for our ultimate good and for His praise! God does what is necessary to show us what our hearts value more than Him, to show us what we cling to besides Him in moments of trouble. We certainly do not want to think we can explain why someone went through some horrible form of suffering, but in the midst of our confusion, we can cling to the fact that nothing enters our life that catches God by surprise. Nothing enters our life that is not first filtered through his nail-pierced hands. The play is his, and we are actors in a scene. It will, one day, make sense. We must trust Him – trust His Heart that willingly died for you!

So, is God’s goal in our lives happiness? Not the way most people mean it. Most people want God to make their dreams, their vision of their life come true. But our story will climax in His story, and at that point we will have happiness beyond compare. Here, in the midst of the story, we are called to suffer – to suffer like Jesus, to identify him, and to pick up our cross. God has given you the spouse you have for a reason, and that reason is to make you more like Christ. The difficulties, arguments, and seeming incompatibility are there because you have (at least) 2 sinners living under the same roof, each with their own version of the play. God wants you to relinquish the rewrite, and trust that his version is the one that leads to true eternal happiness. Be willing to step back in the heated moments and say “just what is my heart craving in this moment?” and “what does it look like to live in faith in this moment?” It will take time to break old patterns and ways of thinking – but you have the same power working within you that raised Christ from the dead!

In the end, we need to spend more time pondering God’s self-revelation. Job knew nothing about the divine drama going on that caused him to lose everything earthly. He suffered greatly, yet never knew why. Jesus was the one person who ever lived who truly did, thought, and felt exactly what God wanted him to in every moment in life – yet it was God’s will to crush Him for our rebellion! If anyone ever deserved a “happy” life, was it not Jesus? Yet his life was full of suffering. The author of Hebrews tells us: “In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered.” Jesus “was made perfect” or complete through suffering - and we are made like Him when we suffer. We are called to “Love God” and “Love Neighbor” and even to “love our enemies.” And sometimes, in those heated moments (and maybe more often than that) our spouse can act like our enemy. We are called to choose the way of suffering and love them anyway …

A few verses on suffering: Romans 5:3, Romans 8:17, Romans 8:18, 2 Corinthians 1:5, Philippians 1:29-30, Philippians 3:10, Colossians 1:24, 1 Thessalonians 5:9, 2 Thessalonians 1:5, 2 Timothy 1:8, Hebrews 2:9-10,18, Hebrews 5:8, Hebrews 13:12

What about MY shame?

I went to a conference recently, and a lot of great things were said. One of the speakers touched on something that I have personally witnessed in my interaction with others. For most of us, Thanksgiving and Christmas are days we look forward to as we consider spending time with cherished family and friends. But they are not so for everyone. Some people are far away from their family by distance, death, or rejection. The holidays are not times of joy for them, but times of sadness and sorrow. There are still others who are dealing with great tragedy in their life who cannot seem to find any reason to rejoice at this time of the year. The gospel has much to say to these people in their circumstances. But there are others for whom the shame of what has been done to them colors all of life. Most of us see how the Gospel relates to things that we have done – but how does it relate to things that have been done to us?

Shame is something we see coming on the scene immediately after Adam and Eve sinned in the garden. Before, they walked and talked with God openly, and they were naked and not ashamed. As soon as they sinned however, we see them hiding from God – and we see God graciously providing coverings for them. This is a hint of what was to come, for we needed more than animal skins to cover our shame before a Holy God. In Exodus 28, we see God providing garments to the priests – giving them “dignity and honor,” for the priests represented the people in the tabernacle/temple. Adam and Eve, in addition, were driven from the garden – they were literally “outcasts.” In the Old Testament, those who were unclean were outcasts. God provides again for the shame of His people as He details sacrifices for the people, sacrifices for sin and uncleanness. In Leviticus 10:10, God tells them to make a distinction between the holy and the common, between the clean and the unclean. The unclean was not to be touched, for the unclean could contaminate the clean. Those who have been sinned against can often feel this sense of “uncleanness” – and how does one get rid of this sense? What can make the unclean clean again? The Holy can make the unclean clean!

Fast forwarding a bit to when Jesus comes on the scene. We find him doing what ought not be done with the unclean - He's touching them. On purpose! Touching lepers to make them clean, touching blind people, touching all sorts of “untouchable” people! He even touches dead bodies (i.e. Jairus’ daughter)! Can you imagine the sense of healing, of wholeness given to those who have been outcasts for years by Jesus touching them and healing them in this way. Lepers who perhaps had not had human contact for years were touched by Him! Lepers who had to go through the streets yelling "unclean! unclean!" so that others could avoid them were now healed! In Luke 8, we see a woman who had been bleeding for 8 years trying to secretly touch the hem of Jesus’ garment – and when she does, she is healed! Jesus doesn't allow that to be the end of the healing, for when he publicly brings her forward, he gives her words of acceptance and peace – affirming that she did not “steal” the healing. When Jesus comes on the scene, we see him pursuing the worst sinners, the outcasts, the ones whom no one associated with. He does not allow a sense of shame, of uncleanness, to come between these people and His love. The “Holy” had come on the scene, and uncleanness itself is banished! Know that if your life is colored by shame, Jesus is willing to touch you, to heal you, and to extend his love to you!

Mark Driscoll strikes a similar tune in his book “Death By Love.” In the chapter on expiation (the cleansing of the stain of sin on our soul), he writes a letter to a woman in his congregation who had been raped. In his own style, Mark Driscoll speaks to her of the gospel – what the gospel has to say to her in her pain. Jesus did not only take the punishment for our sins on the cross, but he also took on our shame! He became a curse for us (Gal 3:13), he became rejected by men and God, spit upon, beaten, and crucified. It is not just that we can be forgiven from whatever we have done – the gospel also cleanses us from any and all shame of what has been done to us! Christ is the Holy One who comes and touches us, who cleanses us, who remakes us into His image - the one who can make us Holy! If you struggle this Thanksgiving and Christmas season because of what has been done to you, look to Christ and see how the Gospel sets you free and cleanses you from even this! Your hope is in Christ!

Falling in Awe at the Savior's Feet Together

Review of "Lost in the Middle"

Lost in the Middle
Midlife and the Grace of God
by Paul Tripp

Life interrupted my reading of this book. I read the first three quarters of it a few months ago and put the book down in favor of other pressing responsibilities. Now that they are completed, I have had time to pick up this book again, and it was refreshing. Reluctantly, I will admit that I am now in "mid-life" - although I surmise that Paul includes just about anyone whose life has shaped up to be different than they planned, but not yet contemplating "retirement." In short, just about everyone.

I have less hair than I used to, and my beard is peppered now. I have been going to the gym to try to regain at least a rough outline of my wrestling physique. My life is certainly not the way I would have arranged it or predicted it, and this book helped me to continue to deal with the fact that the plan my loving heavenly Father has for me is better - even though I don't understand it.

I love Paul's style and his use of real life as examples. I may not be able yet to identify with all the particulars of his examples - but I can see they are just around the bend ... however, the underlying categories of struggles are more than familiar to me ...

My Story is not primarily about me, and it is not limited to my myopic view of the world. Paul points at that we must recognize that there is a larger story in history, a story that includes millions and billions of people - individuals known by name to the Lord and yet gathered as a people for His Glory. Unless I see the bigger story, and see the hand of the Lord moving in my life to make me more into the image of his son for his glory, I will not be able to make sense out of life. If I live for money, pleasure, prestige, or anything other than God, midlife has a way of exposing empty dreams and unfulfilled promises. Just as Adam and Eve fell for the serpent's lie and found much bitterness in following him, we too fall for his tricks as we live for things that will ultimately not satisfy.

God is present in the midst of our lives, and he is present in our sufferings, mistakes, and sins. He is there because He is committed to us for His name's sake more than we are committed to our folly. Thus, we must know the end of the story - where He is taking us - before we can make sense out of where we are ...

I am planning to give this book to a number of people in my life, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is between graduation and the grave ...

The Path ...

You have hurt me
You have wronged me
What you have done deserves death
You deserve to die a painful death
You deserve hell

The path I travel is a painful one
A path of remembering
A path of looking behind more often than ahead
A path of pain
A path of sorrow
A path of brokenness
A path of unfulfilled potential
A path of tarnished dreams
A path that should never have been

I will be your everlasting judge
Whenever you come near me, you will face my wrath
I will cover my contempt with smiles and hugs
But you will know my loathing for you

At times, I will actively hate you
I will work for your undoing
I will seek your demise
I will pluck the flesh off your bones
Every day will be life-sucking

Other times I will ignore you
I will not think of you
You will not enter my thoughts
It will be as if you never existed
You will not have the joy of my companionship
You will not be comforted
You are exiled

Someday, you will get yours
When that day comes, I will cackle
Over your broken body
I will rejoice in your demise
I will send gifts to those I love
Rejoicing that your name will soon be forgotten
But not by me
For your name will be a curse
A word I will use to show contempt
A word that I will use callously and trivially
I will dream of your screams
I will know the sound of your bones being crushed
Justice
For all you have done

This is a path of stinking dung
Dung so deep my legs sink in to my knees
Muck so thick that I struggle to take the next step
Each time I labor to lift my foot
There is a sucking sound
As if the muck tries to pull me in
If I stand still
All is lost
I will drown
And I will be added to the muck and mire
Seeking to bring others down to me

My sin
My sin is against the One who is love
My sin is against the Creator and sustainer of all things
My sin is high treason against a good and perfect King
My sin is worse than despicable
My sin stinks up the whole universe
My sin wraps around my neck like the vines of a rose bush
Promising flowers but delivering piercing thorns dripping with blood
It pulls me down to the grave like so many science fiction monsters
But this is real
It pulls me down into the depths of the grave
Into hell itself
My very name
Is a curse to me

I have chosen my own way … rather than the way of one who loves me perfectly
I have chosen to try to rule my own life … rather than to trust Him
I have chosen to set up my own Kingdom … rather than build His
I have chosen to pursue my own comforts … rather than serve Him
I have chosen my foolishness … rather than His wisdom
I have chosen darkness ... rather than light
I have chosen death … over life

Death
Darkness
Silent screams full of terror
Disorientation
Not knowing which way is up
Unable to breathe
Flames lapping at my feet
But never quenched
Justice
For all I have done
Despair

Hope
A light piercing the darkness
The last word not yet spoken
Destinies can be changed
If only
If only there was a King
A King greater than our sin
A King more loving than our hatred
A King committed to Himself
And all that is right and good and true
More than we are committed to our folly
A King with grace and mercy as his companions
A King whose word is his bond
And whose heart is true

Where is this King
We look for this King
Could he be the One
Whom we have disregarded
Whom we have spat upon
Whom we have flogged
Whom we have forsaken
Whom we have cursed
Who has forgiven us freely
For no other reason than He wanted to

We who have brought shame to His Name
We who have insisted on making our own path
We who have judged others
We who call on mute idols to save us
Like riches, power, position, pleasure, or independence
We who fought to be the Captain of our souls
And then shipwrecked upon those jagged rocks of sin
Always seen, rarely feared
We who scourged him
We who drove the nails in
We who crowned him with thorns
We who pierced his side
And mocked his nakedness
And watched him die
No justice
For what had he done to deserve this
For the joy
For the joy set before him
For the joy of bringing many sons and daughters into the Kingdom
For the joy of forgiveness
For the joy of restoration

Forgiveness is not free
Someone paid my debt
Someone took my punishment
Someone took my death
That I fully deserved
That I fully earned
That someone is him
While I was still his enemy
While I was still a rebel
While I was still a thieving murderer loose in his kingdom
He died
He died for me
He died in my place – not just that I might live
Not just that I might be a good slave
Not just that I might have a second chance
He died to make me His
He died to make me His child
He gave me full rights as a child of God
Where I go, I do not deserve
Where he leads, I go – and rejoice

His people resemble him
His children rise and call him blessed
His people call him Faithful and True
Compassionate and Loving
Just and Merciful
Righteousness clothed in unrighteousness
Beauty clothed in ugliness
Majesty crowned in criminality
Paradox
Wonder of wonders!
Life clothed in death

Justice upheld
Mercy triumphant
Love fulfilled
Grace granted
Only believe

The path of a citizen
The path of one forgiven so much
The path of an adopted one
People of the Kingdom forgive
Ambassadors of the King forgive
Children of the King forgive
The path of a beloved
The path of a son
His path

Forgiveness

Not because they must, but because they want to
They want to resemble their King, their Savior, their Father …
We are most like God when we forgive those who have wronged us
Those who have hurt us
Those who have done things that deserve punishment and condemnation

Forgiveness is the loosing of the hand on the noose
The dropping of the whip to scourge
The burning of the ledger of debts

Forgiveness is setting down the hammer and spikes
Time and time again
As you find them in your hands

Forgiveness is remembering the price paid for my great debt
and the smallness of the debt before me
and doing holy math

completing the divine equation
letting flow from my heart what has flowed into it
receiving grace as I kneel before the King
and freely offering it to my worst enemy

Forgiveness frees us from hanging on to the one who hurt us
Bitterness binds us to them every step they take
Forgiveness allows us to see the world again
Bitterness draws the one who hurt us nose to nose that we might extract vengeance … and see nothing else

I’m remembering the hurt … again
The pain … the tears …
I need to remember
Remember the great debt you forgave me
That I might not see this debt through a microscope
Making small things large
And yet, this pain is so overwhelming
It is impossible to forgive
Father, you excel in the impossible
You make your great name and power known
Through change
Change in people like me
To do impossible things

Father forgive us our sins
As we forgive those who sin against us
Father cleanse me
As I release others from my grasp

This path is hard
This path is painful
This path is self-denying
This path
Leads
To
Life

This path
Leads from a cross
To the throne
Of our Father
We must walk it
More than once
And lead others
Through it

This path
Is good

A truly different funeral ...

I went, last Thursday to the funeral of the 24-year old niece of one of our Elders. She was killed in a car accident on February 7 at about 10 AM. I went along with 3 other Elders primarily to support our fellow Elder, his daughter, his son, and the rest of his family. Funerals are obviously something you never want to go to - especially for someone so young.

This funeral was different than any I had ever been to before. First, there were, at my rough estimate, at least 1500 people there. While that is a lot, one might attribute it to a sudden death of someone so young. Second, the funeral lasted 3 and 1/2 hours - and there was really only one ten-minute section or so where I felt it was dragging a bit, with all due respect. For the rest of the time, the pastors did a wonderful job incorporating meaningful music (surprisingly upbeat for a funeral one might say) and the chosen representative speakers spoke from the heart and spoke well. I did not know the young woman, and so I was somewhat emotionally detached from the sudden tragedy, but I left there actually feeling ministered to. It was different than anything I've ever been to before. It was a funeral I would want to have at my time to minister to my friends and family - especially those who do not know the Lord.

Some of the details of her life I remember are this: She had grown up in this particular church and spent years in the youth group and young adult ministries. She went on missions trips to China, where she befriended many Chinese nationals - one in particular. Apparently this young lady was not just attractive and had a good personality, but had a way about her that made those around her feel valued. She went to college, where she continued to make friends and reach out to those around her. After graduating last May, she spent about a year looking for employment in her field - looking back, the family said that they were grateful for this past year and the time they could spend together. About two months ago, she got a job in her chosen field and was adjusting to it well. On that Saturday morning, she was on her way to do something (I forget if it was shopping or something else). The same morning, a husband and wife had an argument elsewhere in her city. The wife took off in her car, and the husband sped after her in his. Apparently, he lost control of his vehicle, crossing the median and hitting this young woman head on. She did not die immediately, and some of the paramedics were there at her funeral to be honored for their efforts at saving her. But she died at the scene.

As I reflect upon this incident, there are questions and thoughts that come to my mind - perhaps the same ones as yours. Why did this happen to someone so young? Why didn't she get delayed in her driveway and therefore miss the oncoming car? Why did someone who was apparently living well for the Lord die like this? Who can protect their children from tragedy in this world? If it can happen to her, what about my kids? What greater purpose could there be in this rather than letting her live out her life on the apparent track she was on? If this might happen at any time, is it better not to have kids? Who has any real control over anything in their lives?

Humanly speaking, this man and his wife are culpable for this death. From what I know, there was no wrong doing - not even a minor traffic infraction - by this young woman. Do you feel the wrongness of this? Do you see that this is just another example of a world gone mad by sin? Do you have that "righteous indignation" that this was so WRONG for this child to be taken like this! Does your heart want justice for this family? Do you not want to see our human justice system perform correctly here? Do you not want God to intervene in this family's life - to right the wrongs, to undo the damage, to restore vibrant life to where it was? Does not your heart long for this? My heart rages against the seeming senselessness of this ...

But then I consider ... Do you (I) see yourself (myself) as "different" from the husband and wife? Do you see that perhaps this could have been you after an argument with someone? Do you see in yourself the seeds of such sin of disregard for others around you? Do you sense your self-absorption to the exclusion of foresight of the tragedy you may inadvertently cause because of adherence to your agenda or your consumption in your fears, tears, or anger? Do you see the unintended consequences that could befall a moment of distracted driving?

I certainly don't have answers to the ultimate questions. The self-introspective ones I may have an inkling, but I don't like the answers. I'm not sure anyone does. The family stated that they were having a hard time themselves seeing this as from the Lord - and yet, in faith, they affirmed verses like "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will return. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Blessed be the name of the Lord." I'm not sure I could say the same thing looking at my child's coffin. I know I don't want to find out. I'd rather have my arms and legs cut off than lose one of my kids - and I would gladly die for them. But I don't know the danger around them, nor the danger coming at them - and I can't control their environment enough to guarantee safety. All I can do is trust - trust the Lord that His sovereign hand is at work in even this and that there is some greater plan to life than just my personal happiness. But, wow, I so do not want to go anywhere near the pain this family has gone through. God's answer is always best - but I do not have the ability to understand this one.

One might be able to be cynical and say "everyone says nice things at a funeral" or "it is easy to put together a show and not reflect the reality in their lives." One might be right, too. But something came through that night that these were not just empty sayings and religious words - these really seemed to reflect the people's hearts. The depth of pain, in my opinion, stripped away any veneer and I think we got a glimpse into her family's heart. They are certainly hurting, probably more so now that the shock is wearing off and life returns to "normal" - as normal as it can get knowing that you will never see your youngest daughter walk through the door this side of eternity again.

How do you make sense of a tragedy like this? I don't think you can. It's a bit of an overused word picture, but I think it is accurate to say that the bottom side of a beautiful tapestry makes no sense until you see the top. I believe the Bible teaches that God is sovereign over all things - which means at the very least, he allowed this to happen. But this really is where theology meets life. Can one affirm in the darkest places what one is taught in the light? How does the Bible teach us to deal with tragedy in light of the truth presented about God's sovereignty? God himself does not back away from the hard answers sovereignty points to. It would be far too easy to remain sterile and academic about this and rattle off the "right answers." But how would you help this grieving family?

Would you try to find "the right words" to say? Or would you refrain from speaking any words - choosing to weep with those who weep? Would you try to answer a grieving father's cries as he questions why his daughter was taken in this manner? Or would you believe there is no suitable answer to tragedy - no intellectual reason that can make it OK at this moment - and seek to just enter the pain with him?

Would you quote Bible verses to them? Would you try to tell them of a time when you faced a tragedy? Would you try to tell them they just need "more faith?" Would you assume (even if you never said it) that they or this woman must have done something to deserve this? How would you minister to them at this time? Would your words (or silence) add to his grief, comfort him, or just be empty like dusty cobwebs in the corner of the ceiling which no one can reach?

You see, I think our understanding of the gospel has got to be able to handle even these tragedies. If the gospel cannot answer the pain of this family, the gospel has no real power. Christ must be savior in the midst of tragedy, or He is no savior. This should drive us to seek deep answers to hard questions. There are answers. God can handle the tough questions. Don't give a 5 cent answer to a hundred dollar question. Trite phrases and glib quotes won't help pain this deep. There must be something to our faith to help people like this.

This was a tragedy. The family and friends are grieving deeply. They grieve with hope, however. They know their God is trustworthy, that this life is fleeting, and that one day, they will see their daughter/sister/friend again. One day, God will set all things right. That day is not today however. I don't think I have the strength to go through what they did - and yet, I am powerless to prevent such a thing from happening. I have no other choice but to throw myself on his mercy and love and know that whatever comes into my life, comes to my life through nail-pierced hands. I shudder and beg, but I try to trust ...

Review - Death By Love (Mark Driscoll)

The twelve chapters of this book are unique, hard-hitting application of 12 theological truths of Christ's identity and what he accomplished on our behalf, written as letters to members of his congregation. Mark pulls no punches, both in describing sin's ugliness and God's gracious and radical solution in Christ.

I resonate with this book, I think, mostly because it is not sterile. It does not clean up stories, sugar coat the diagnosis or walk the politically correct church line. Therefore, I believe it will actually help many people. It rings of truth in situations to me the way God's Word does - not the sanitized biographies we read in today's Christian culture. God didn't hide the warts and ugliness of life in general or of his saints in particular - including the ones we hold up as heroes of the faith. We do a great disservice to everyone when we sanitize life.

On the other hand, I'm sure if every book was written in this style, we would quickly become desensitized to it - as we do with TV, movies and other parts of our culture. This book serves an important place in my library and it is one of my favorite books, but it is not for everyone. It should be, in my opinion - but not everyone is ready for it. It is a must-read for mature Christians and those who give simplistic answers to life's tough questions. The fact that it does so well what it does while "teaching" theology warms my heart and makes me wonder if there really is hope after all for the American church.

Review - Death By Love (Mark Driscoll)

Table of Contents:

Introduction: "We killed God:Jesus is Our Substitutionary Atonement

Ch 1: "Demons Are Tormenting Me" - Jesus is Katie's Christus Victor
Ch 2: "Lust Is My God" - Jesus is Thomas' Redemption
Ch 3: "My Wife Slept with My Friend" - Jesus is Luke's New Covenant Sacrifice
Ch 4: "I Am a 'Good' Christian" - Jesus is David's Gift Righteousness
Ch 5: "I Molested a Child" - Jesus is John's Justification
Ch 6: "My Dad Used to Beat Me" - Jesus is Bill's Propitiation
Ch 7: "He Raped Me" - Jesus is Mary's Expiation
Ch 8: "My Daddy Is a Pastor" - Jesus is Gideon's Unlimited Limited Atonement
Ch 9: "I Am Going to Hell" - Jesus is Hank's Ransom
Ch 10: "My Wife Has a Brain Tumor" - Jesus is Caleb's Christus Exemplar
Ch 11: "I Hate My Brother" - Jesus is Kurt's Reconciliation
Ch 12: "I Want to Know God" - Jesus is Susan's Revelation

How do you help someone?

How do you help someone who won't let you in? Who won't even talk to you? I have a friend in the middle of an adulterous affair. He's lost his job and has isolated himself from people that care for him. His children are angry, and his wife has been betrayed. How do you speak into situations such as these?



I know that we cannot counsel someone who does not want counsel. We can't help someone who refuses help ... or can we? Can we not help an unwilling friend in spite of themselves? It is clear we can't have the direct ministry in their life that would be most helpful, but can't we do something? I think we can.



We can pray. This is not a trite saying or a synonym for "we're confused" or "we don't know what to do." We can take our friend and the situation to God's very Throne. We can plead with God to act for His Name's sake in mercy and grace to this person. We can confidently know that God knows all things, and that he takes these things and weaves them into his master tapestry. We bring no new information to God, nor do we stir an unwilling King. We do not need to beg from our Father, yet he values and uses our prayers sovereignly to bring about His will. Sometimes we do need to be diligent in praying for a long time for situations. Praying is not a waste of time - but neither is it a show. It is not useless because we do not know God's secret will, but neither do we bend God to our will. It is not a matter of the right words, but of the right heart. God will graciously grant our requests as they line up with his will. Prayer is the means that he uses to bring about his will - if I do not pray, someone else will and they will get the blessing of being used by God to bring about his will. Just as Paul says "How will they hear if no one speaks?" The one who speaks the Word does not accomplish God's will, but is used as a conduit through which God accomplishes his will. If we don't want to be involved, God will raise up others who will - just as Jesus said the very rocks would cry out if the crowd was silent. God will get the praise he has ordained - whether he uses me or a rock. But it's better for me if He uses me ...


And so, we can pray for my friend.

What else can we do?



We can let all those involved know that we are open to them, waiting to hear from them. We can let them know that we can't go along with their choice, but are willing to love them enough to be straight with them.



We can choose to let go of the pride and anger in our own heart that wants to condemn and wants to be angry for what their sin has cost us - but truthfully, where am I really on the list of offended people? We can address the issues of our own heart so that we do not sin by judging, condemning, becoming self-righteous, or worrying that our plans or reputations are ruined (incidentally, that might be another good blog - on the damage Christians do to each other in the name of "keeping a good testimony"). It is not about us.

Issues with my hands ...

Lately, I have had some issues with my hands. They are often asleep and my wrists are often painful at any angle other than straight. It is a chore to write or even type with them right now, and sleeping can be rough - I generally sleep on my stomach because I have both central and obstructive sleep apnea. Two weeks ago, I tried playing racquetball and my hands were numb almost immediately, and I had very little strength in them. My mom has carpal-tunnel syndrome, so perhaps there is a genetic component to the structure of my wrists. As with many Americans, I could also stand to lose some weight, which would help. Even right now, I have to stop after every sentence and shake my hands out to get the feeling back.

Sometimes it feels wrong to even include this in the category of suffering, since it is relatively minor and is probably somewhat self-inflicted. And yet, it is suffering. I can't write like I want to or type or sleep, but become a "slave" to avoiding pain (and damage) to my wrists and hands.

Yet, even this is within God's sovereign plan for my life - a plan to take me where He wants me to be. Perhaps there is an element of discipline to it, but I have a hard time sometimes acknowledging "discipline" and avoiding the self-loathing perfectionistic spiral that seems to come with it for me. I can't figure out exactly what God is doing in my life, and that's not my job anyway. My job is to listen to what I should do next and to lean on His grace to get me there. I need grace and mercy, for sure. A little "healing" would be nice, too - but I trust the Potter's Hand even as he cuts away the scrap clay to mold me into what he wants mew to be. It's not fun, but where else is there to be? I'd rather be in the hands of my loving Father who is doing his work in me for ultimate good than to be pain free away from him ...