Top 10 teams in baseball history ...

OK, I just read somebody's post that makes me think they have no idea what "top 10" means - they had teams in their top 10 who did not win the World Series, but did not include the team that beat them! Now, I understand that the "best team" on paper does not always win the World Series (like in 2009 ;) ), but to be considered a "best team" it seems a requirement that you did put it together and win the World Series - or at least lost to a team higher on the list. With that said, here's my list:

10. 1993 Blue Jays
9. 1970 Orioles
8. 1998 Yankees
7. 1918 Red Sox
6. 1939 Yankees
5. 1961 Yankees
4. 1974 A's
3. 1976 Reds
2. 1927 Yankees
1. 1908 Cubs

It galls me to have more than one Yankee team and no Phillies - but depending on what the Phillies do in the next couple of years, they could crack this list - all of these teams were multiple series winners.

Book Review: CrossTalk - Where Life and Scripture Meet

CrossTalk: Where Life and Scripture Meet by Mike Emlet

OK, another book from CCEF that cracks my top 10 all time books. I'm going to have to make it officially a top 20 books just to keep some other authors visible ...

To sum up a response to this book, I say “Wow !" I wish I had read this book years ago, but I doubt I was ready for it – in any case, the Lord is sovereign and I have read this book (and it has been published) in His timing, which is perfect. I have lived as a perfectionist, as someone who functionally based my justification on my supposed sanctification, and I have lived in a community where the Bible is always reduced to “rules.” It has been difficult to realize that I am always looking for the “call” on someone’s life – mine or a friend’s – and that much of my personal ministry was looking for “corrective verses” instead of the “whole-istic” view of ministry presented in Scripture. It was like being in a band where on the flat notes could be struck, and thinking that this was the only kind of music there was.
I have struggled even in my own reading of scripture not to turn everything into a demand, into a rule that needed to be followed in order for “approval” to be had. The first chapter continued to whet my appetite for more – something that CCEF resources have been doing for a couple of years now. The imagery of ditches and canyons struck home – I wanted everything to be a ditch, and I felt inadequate for anything wider than a few inches. Saying to me that the Bible is NOT primarily a book of do’s and don’ts has felt like making the Bible a foreign book – if THAT was not what it was for, how do I understand it? But then to go even further and say that the Bible is not primarily a book of timeless principles for the problems of life – well, statements like that will get you labeled with the “L” word. And yet, there is something that rings true, something that warms my heart, something that creates longing in me when I see what is meant by the proper use of Scripture in ministry. As I am learning in my Prolegomena class, it is improper for me to sit in and judge Scripture, and so I must confess that my feeling of “rightness” has no impact on the actual rightness or wrongness of any method, and yet I do want to affirm that this approach seems to be more in line with the Jesus I see ministering to others rather than the people I see around and including me.
The idea of meta-narratives, of seeing myself and others within a story that is part of a larger story seems quite revolutionary to me – and yet, by transferring my gaze off of my own little world, I gain an others-centered perspective that keeps me from spiraling in on myself. By explicitly focusing on the saint-sufferer-sinner model, it prevents me from falling back into old habits – of merely attacking the points of sin. I am reminded to see people as God’s beloved children, being redeemed, who suffer due to their own sin and the sin of others – and not just as projects who need fixing. I love the concrete examples that are given of using a passage from the Old and New Testament in a ministry setting – and not just “easy application” passages. This again seems to resonate in my heart with a “I knew there was something better out there but couldn’t find it” response.
I find myself longing for the time to re-read this book and to sit down and think through specific ministry situations with the framework it presents. Quite frankly, at this stage of my life - I find that I have little time for anything. And yet, I am smack in the middle of ministry – so much so that I desperately need to make time for this. Most of all, I want time to go through Scripture and change my view from a “rule-search” or a “principle-search” to a search for Christ. It really is He that I want most of all, and yet so much gets in the way – including myself. I think this book will get worn out from my use – at least I hope so – and I want to be able to incorporate it into the “second-nature” of my thinking.

Tiger and me ...

It appears Tiger Woods is human after all. Oh, there was never really any doubt, but as we do far too often in our culture, we place athletes and celebreties on pedastals where they should not be and then revel in their fall. I don't know much about Tiger, and I'm not much of a golf fan, but I do feel for him. Don't get me wrong, what he apparently did was wrong and I have far more empathy for his wife than for him. And yet ... I understand. Our desires are insatiable. Here is a man married to someone who was a model, if not a supermodel. Our culture tells us that he should be the happiest man on earth. He has money, fame, a beautiful wife, the envy of much of the world, and he gets to play a game for a living. And yet, it was not (apparently) enough.

These things never are enough to satisfy our hearts, our longings - and our desires can outgrow the ability for anything to satisfy them. We see this play out in the news (and the tabloids) time and time again. The human condition is one of searching, of longing, of wanting, of needing ... yet being unfulfilled. We have brought it on ourselves, yet we refuse to hear the solution. We suppress what is readily apparent about the universe because we like our sin. We don't want to be accountable to anyone or anything outside ourselves. We certainly don't want to hear that our lives will be evaluated for what they were in the end ...

I'm not sure women appreciate the all-consuming nature of lust. There are probably some women who do, but as a whole, the reactions I have seen from women lead me to say that they don't get it. Why, for instance, would Tiger stray from a supermodel wife? Isn't that enough? Could he possibly want more than that? Yes. It is, in a very real way, like an analogy to food I heard. You could put the best piece of apple pie ever made beforre a hungry man and let him eat it. He could take his time, savoring each bite with the most appropriate beverage ever devised. Maybe he takes an hour to eat that pie. When he's all done, he sits back and reflects on the best piece of apple pie ever made. Could he possibly want more after that? If someone came along with a store bought cherry pie, could he possibly want that? Yes, we all know full well that one (male or female) could have a desire to eat that cherry pie even after finishing off the best piece of apple pie ever made. Why? Because our desires, ultimately, are insatiable.

There must be something else that captures our hearts more than our desires - or we will destroy our lives. Whether through an affair or over-indulgin in pie, we all die a slow death this way. Tiger, what you (apparently) did was hurtful, dumb, and sin. You and I both need a Savior. Without Him, we shall be consumed ...

What about MY shame?

I went to a conference recently, and a lot of great things were said. One of the speakers touched on something that I have personally witnessed in my interaction with others. For most of us, Thanksgiving and Christmas are days we look forward to as we consider spending time with cherished family and friends. But they are not so for everyone. Some people are far away from their family by distance, death, or rejection. The holidays are not times of joy for them, but times of sadness and sorrow. There are still others who are dealing with great tragedy in their life who cannot seem to find any reason to rejoice at this time of the year. The gospel has much to say to these people in their circumstances. But there are others for whom the shame of what has been done to them colors all of life. Most of us see how the Gospel relates to things that we have done – but how does it relate to things that have been done to us?

Shame is something we see coming on the scene immediately after Adam and Eve sinned in the garden. Before, they walked and talked with God openly, and they were naked and not ashamed. As soon as they sinned however, we see them hiding from God – and we see God graciously providing coverings for them. This is a hint of what was to come, for we needed more than animal skins to cover our shame before a Holy God. In Exodus 28, we see God providing garments to the priests – giving them “dignity and honor,” for the priests represented the people in the tabernacle/temple. Adam and Eve, in addition, were driven from the garden – they were literally “outcasts.” In the Old Testament, those who were unclean were outcasts. God provides again for the shame of His people as He details sacrifices for the people, sacrifices for sin and uncleanness. In Leviticus 10:10, God tells them to make a distinction between the holy and the common, between the clean and the unclean. The unclean was not to be touched, for the unclean could contaminate the clean. Those who have been sinned against can often feel this sense of “uncleanness” – and how does one get rid of this sense? What can make the unclean clean again? The Holy can make the unclean clean!

Fast forwarding a bit to when Jesus comes on the scene. We find him doing what ought not be done with the unclean - He's touching them. On purpose! Touching lepers to make them clean, touching blind people, touching all sorts of “untouchable” people! He even touches dead bodies (i.e. Jairus’ daughter)! Can you imagine the sense of healing, of wholeness given to those who have been outcasts for years by Jesus touching them and healing them in this way. Lepers who perhaps had not had human contact for years were touched by Him! Lepers who had to go through the streets yelling "unclean! unclean!" so that others could avoid them were now healed! In Luke 8, we see a woman who had been bleeding for 8 years trying to secretly touch the hem of Jesus’ garment – and when she does, she is healed! Jesus doesn't allow that to be the end of the healing, for when he publicly brings her forward, he gives her words of acceptance and peace – affirming that she did not “steal” the healing. When Jesus comes on the scene, we see him pursuing the worst sinners, the outcasts, the ones whom no one associated with. He does not allow a sense of shame, of uncleanness, to come between these people and His love. The “Holy” had come on the scene, and uncleanness itself is banished! Know that if your life is colored by shame, Jesus is willing to touch you, to heal you, and to extend his love to you!

Mark Driscoll strikes a similar tune in his book “Death By Love.” In the chapter on expiation (the cleansing of the stain of sin on our soul), he writes a letter to a woman in his congregation who had been raped. In his own style, Mark Driscoll speaks to her of the gospel – what the gospel has to say to her in her pain. Jesus did not only take the punishment for our sins on the cross, but he also took on our shame! He became a curse for us (Gal 3:13), he became rejected by men and God, spit upon, beaten, and crucified. It is not just that we can be forgiven from whatever we have done – the gospel also cleanses us from any and all shame of what has been done to us! Christ is the Holy One who comes and touches us, who cleanses us, who remakes us into His image - the one who can make us Holy! If you struggle this Thanksgiving and Christmas season because of what has been done to you, look to Christ and see how the Gospel sets you free and cleanses you from even this! Your hope is in Christ!

Falling in Awe at the Savior's Feet Together

See Life Differently: Dealing With Lust

I found an old post on a blog that I am unfamiliar with (and so do not endorse anything on it) that I found particularly insightful on lust.

See Life Differently: Dealing With Lust

The key section (in case the link gets broken) for me is:

"Wouldn't it be better if a woman in a bikini didn't even register on my radar because I am so in love with my own wife? Wouldn't it be best if I could actually overcome my lust altogether, rather than merely trying to control the sinful behavior that results from it?

How come no one's talking about how to change the heart? Hmmm?"

Some thoughts:

There actually are some people who are looking at heart change, rather than merely external boundaries. The people at CCEF have been dealing with this for years, and they don't get enough traffic, as far as I'm concerned. They have some fine resources on dealing with "how people change" that deals primarily with heart change.

If I might summarize to the best of my ability: we need to realize that we do, in each and every moment, exactly what we want to do. We always follow our greatest desire. The question is, how do we desire something else?

First, we must realize that what we want often kills us slowly. We ingest poison - poison that gives us a rush - and then wonder why we are deteriorating. We choose to swallow the lie, that thing offered to us that promises life, and find only once it gets into our stomach that it is bitter.

Second, we must realize that we undervalue Christ. We think the gospel is only for the moment of salvation and we're on our own to "make it the rest of the way" through life. We do not see that the Gospel is for ever day living. We do not see the all-surpassing glory of Christ that would far outshine these momentary pleasures if we would just look! Instead, we suppress our knowledge of Christ in order that we might pursue this created thing - or perhaps we have never had an accurate picture of the Glory of the Risen Christ!

Third, we fail to realize that we cannot change ourselves - or others. The one thing everyone needs - and the one thing no one can do for themselves or others - is a change in the heart. We can't reach into someone else and flip a switch, as it were, so that they crave the right thing. The best we can do is show truth to them, to hold up Christ in all His glory, and pray that he will draw this person to himself.

Fourth, we must see that life is a series of realizations that we have turned from Christ and to something else - that we have sought life in another. We then turn from the thing that has captured our affection and look to Christ. We need to deny ourselves this momentary pleasure for something far more satisfying. To paraphrase John Piper's words: we must stop dwelling on "our mud pies in the slums" and see the value in the "holiday at the sea" that is offered. We are far too easily satisfied.

Fifth, and perhaps this is out of order, we must realize that if we are united with Christ, our Sovereign Lord has arranged the details of your life so that you will continue to walk down the path of Christ-likeness. We are guaranteed to reach our destination, as the deposit of the Holy Spirit attests. We will one day be like Him - when we see Him face to face. Your life is bigger than your life, and the "Grand Play" going on around you will display the Lord in all His Glory. Your life is a part of that reality. There is nothing that happens to you by chance, by happenstance, by randomness (as if that were a force anyway) - every detail is arranged according to plan. The sovereign Lord speaks into all of life - and He cares far too much about His children to let them settle for mud pies. He will do whatever is necessary to free them from the power of sin - for if He has given us Christ, what good will He withhold?

No, for whatever reason, God does not see fit to perfect us in this life. But as we walk with Him, we will be more like Him. And I have a suspicion that when all is revealed, our joy and His Glory will be ever-intensified because of the path He has taken us through.

So, as we struggle with lust, remember:
1. We are falling for the trap and lie of the enemy that life is found in a sexual experience rather than fellowship with God
2. Lust is destructive and will destroy us
3. We do what we do because we want to
4. We need heart change, but are dependent on God for that
5. Christ's Glory far surpasses the mud pies we play with - so behold Christ!
6. Because we are united in Christ, one day this struggle will be over - but that day is not today

Polycarp ... burned at the stake at 86

Polycarp, a direct pupil of the apostle John who lived between 70 and 155 A.D., was arrested on the charge of being a Christian -- a member of a politically dangerous cult whose rapid growth needed to be stopped. Amidst an angry mob, the Roman proconsul took pity on such a gentle old man and urged Polycarp to proclaim, "Caesar is Lord". If only Polycarp would make this declaration and offer a small pinch of incense to Caesar's statue he would escape torture and death. To this Polycarp responded, "Eighty-six years I have served Christ, and He never did me any wrong. How can I blaspheme my King who saved me?" Steadfast in his stand for Christ, Polycarp refused to compromise his beliefs, and thus, was burned alive at the stake.

What will the world be like when I'm 86 - if I get to live out those years? What will be the great technological advances that will make life 'easier' for all of us? What will be the great political moves that will shape the world? What will be the new ways that men dream up to express their sin? What will my kids and grandkids be like then? What kind of world will this generation have left them?

What if there is great persecution coming - whether to the whole world or just my little corner of it? Will I be able to face death as faithfully as Polycarp? What would I do at the thought of facing being burned alive?

What brutalities would be possible for this pluralistic, secular world? What things would they do to try to snuff out any allegience to the Lord? Could such a thing ever be possible? Despite the advance3s in technology, the human heart has not changed. Is it possible? You can count on it unless God restrains the evil in the heart of men still longer ... What kind of future do my descendents have to look forward to?

In you alone, O Lord, will I put my trust!

“What do I want?”

This is a great question to ask yourself, and to ask of others. It’s simple and straightforward, and yet the desires, thoughts and motives of our very core can be displayed by honest answers to this question. It fits just about any moment of any situation. What is it that is driving me to say, do, feel and think the things I do right now?

This question is in essence a summary of some of the work of Jonathan Edwards as he considered God’s Word. He spoke at length to the desires we all have in his work “The Freedom of the Will.” Edwards’ thesis in this work is that “we are free to choose that which we most desire.” Why do you do what you do in each and every moment of your life? Because you want to – you desire to. Even when we have competing desires, we will always pursue that which is greatest. This is why the things we do reveal our hearts – even though no one can see our inner motives.

“Wait,” you say, “I know there are times I would rather be fishing than at work, or times I do the dishes for the thousandth time when my back hurts.” How can you say that I always follow my greatest desire when so often I feel like I must do something out of a sense of duty, if nothing else? It is true that sometimes we do have a desire to do something other than what we are doing that seems greater. But it is not just these two desires competing, but a third (at least) enters the picture. You know that to abandon work (not speaking of vacations) is to put you job in jeopardy, and your job is how you provide for your family, support the work of your church and other causes you value, and that on occasion, it really does provide you with a sense of purpose. Thus your desire to protect your family, help others, and have a sense of accomplishment with the talents you have been given overrides the momentary desire to be fishing. Thus, even though you’d rather be fishing – you really would rather be faithful to the other causes more important to you than your own enjoyment. So even when we think we are sacrificing a greater desire, we are really doing it in service to a greater desire yet.

“Following our greatest motivation” thus highlights why sin is so offensive. When we sin, we do it because we want to do it – in spite of God’s desire for us. We believe the lie that life is found in this other thing we want rather than in God’s plan for us. This is why sin is so insidious – it promises to us exactly what we want, but hides the price we will pay. Even as Christians – people committed to Christ and His Glory – we often trade the life he offers for a momentary pleasure or power or comfort.

Next, this shines light on the reality that we are not all tempted by exactly the same things. Yes, we are tempted by the similar categories of sin – i.e. pride, lust, greed, self-centeredness, etc. – but the actual things that “hook” our hearts may be different. The things that set off pride for a businessman may be different than for a pastor or a stay-at-home mother – yet they all struggle with pride. The things we want may be as different as our hobbies, careers, or tastes in food – but it is the desire that is in our heart that tempts us (James 1:13-15). Thus, what tempts me may be perfectly innocent for my brother, and we must be careful not to assign our struggles to someone else.

The final thing this points to is the fact that external remedies (isolation, boundaries, fleeing etc.) may be of some value in the moment, but ultimately the thing we need the most is heart change (and it’s the one thing none of us can do for another or even ourselves). We need to desire different things. I am not kept pure merely by the avoidance of situations that may tempt me – although it is Biblical and wise to flee moments of temptation rather than to fall into sin – but by the change of my desires from the things of this world (yes, even good things out of proportion) to the things that please God’s heart. Monasteries were a fine idea – until humans were let in. In spite of their extremely rigorous rules and ascetic conditions, monasteries still found the same sins present as in the rest of the world. The human heart will find ways to go on its own, to chase its own desires. We don’t need a better environment, ultimately – we need a Savior. Christ is yet our example: when the “pressures” of all He went through in his crucifixion and separation from the Father, look at what came out of his heart. When the sponge is squeezed, the liquid that comes out was what was already in there. What comes out of your heart when the pressures of the moment squeeze you?

When Christ is lifted up in all His Glory, he not only draws men to himself for salvation, but captures more and more the hearts of his children. I am convinced that what I need more often than not is a true, vibrant mental picture or understanding of the glorious appeal of Christ for who He is so that the trinkets of earth that so easily amuse me fade into dust in comparison with Him. I need not just to shun sin, but to desire Christ more!

If the gospel has any power – and it does – then it is the answer for us not only when we first come to Christ, but for living life every day thereafter. “What do you want?” – a simple, but powerful spotlight on your heart.

Ultimate Questions

Whenever human beings spend time thinking about "ultimate questions" - "what is the meaning of life," "why am I here," "what is my purpose," "what lies beyond death," etc. - we all approach them in certain ways. Most people approach these questions from the "bottom up" - that is, they start out with themselves (or other people) and their own thoughts and experiences. That is the way the world approaches these things - primarily because they see no ultimate authority outside of themselves.

Some approach ultimate questions in a "generational approach" - that is, "I believe it because my family taught it to me." Such beliefs are not founded on any evidence beyond my family ties - and thus, while sincere, will have little influence on others outside the family.

Others approach these questions in a "traditional approach." By this "tradition," some dominant group or influence is pointed to as the authority backing up what I believe and why. These two approaches have probably dominated much of human culture and history, and fall under the category of "peer pressure" (not meant disparagingly). In the last few centuries, other approaches have come onto the scene.

With the enlightenment came "rationalism" - we can only know what we can use the scientific process to show and what "reason" leads us to. Therefore, we can't know anything about the unseen.

Later came the idea of the experiential - one can only know what one can experience, and experience can't be refuted. "There must be a god because I feel it is so" and "There is no god because I feel it is so" are both experiential arguments.

Yet finally come the "irrational" - language only has meaning as I understand it. My impressions are true because they are mine. I define reality for myself.

Notice again that these approaches are all "bottom up" - they start in some way with man and his perception of the world and reality. Unbelievers (and I'm including those of other faiths) have no other way of approaching life. In reality, none of us have any other way of approaching life - unless there is a God and He takes the initiative to reveal himself to us. Because God is infinite and we are finite, we have a problem trying to understand God. We also have a problem in that we are fallen - and the fall has not only affected our thinking, but has affected our willingness to think right thoughts. If humanity tries to "understand" who God is in this condition, separate from His revelation, we will end up with an inadequate and imperfect view of God. This is the essence of idolatry.

The conclusion hen, and the grounding of all good theology, is that we have an utter dependence on God to reveal himself to us - God must speak! All of the above approaches are ultimately fruitless in humanity's search for God, and they are yet fruitless when brought into the church as a defining authority. But when we are His, He gives us His Holy Spirit and the Word of God and reveals Himself to us. Good Theology is "thinking God's thoughts after Him" and remaining true to what God has revealed about Himself - whether it is out of line with what our families believe, the traditions we have, the experiences we interpret, or how I want to view life. Good Theology helps us to know Him as He truly is and not as the idol our fallen, finite minds make Him out to be. Good Theology, in short, leads to overflowing praise and the enjoyment of the One who has saved us!

Review of "Religion Saves"

RELIGION SAVES
+ NINE other MISCONCEPTIONS
by Mark Driscoll

Table of Contents

Introduction
Question 9: Birth Control
Question 8: Humor
Question 7: Predestination
Question 6: Grace
Question 5: Sexual Sin
Question 4: Faith and Works
Question 3: Dating
Question 2: The Emerging Church
Question 1: The Regulative Principle

Review of "Religion Saves"

RELIGION SAVES
+ NINE other MISCONCEPTIONS
by Mark Driscoll

Another Mark Driscoll book, another hard-hitting winner as far as I'm concerned. Mark takes the top 9 questions people submitted to him and answers them in his no-holds-barred straight forward style. You may not agree with him on every issue, but you won't wonder where he stands.

Mark takes on "religious" people, who go beyond what the Bible has written on issues and draw firm lines where the Bible has not. Instead, he attempts to think biblically about the issues that seem to dominate some intra- and inter- faith discussions. You may have other pressing questions than these nine, but reading through this book will give you a great sense of where many people are and how Mark answers them as a pastor and a man who cares about truth.

The Prodigal God

The Prodigal God
Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith
by Tim Keller

Table of Contents

Introduction
The Parable
ONE - The People around Jesus: "All gathering around to hear him."
Two Kinds of People
Why People Like Jesus but Not the Church
TWO - The Two Lost Sons: "There was a man who had two sons."
The Lost Younger Brother
The Younger Brother's Plan
The Lost Elder Brother
THREE - Redefining Sin: "All these years I've been slaving for you."
Two ways to find happiness
Two Lost Sons
A Deeper Understanding of Sin
Both Wrong; Both Loved
FOUR - Redefining Lostness: "The older brother became angry and refused to go in."
Anger and Superiority
Slavishness and Emptiness
Who Needs to Know This?
FIVE - The True Elder Brother: "My son, everything I have is yours."
What we need
Who We need
SIX - Redefining Hope: "He set off for a far country."
Our Longing for Home
The Difficulty of Return
The Feast at the end of History
SEVEN - The Feast of the Father: "He heard music and dancing."
Salvation is Experiential
Salvation is Material
Salvation is Individual
Salvation is Communal
Babette's Feast

Review of "The Prodigal God"

The Prodigal God
Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith
by Tim Keller

The Prodigal God is one of two books I have read on the "Prodigal Son" parable (A Tale of Two Sons by John MacArthur being the other). Both books have added depth to my understanding and appreciation for what is often known as the "best short story ever written." Neither of the authors focus solely on the Younger Brother, as most discussion I have heard have done - but Tim Keller speaks to all the characters - and the audience of the parable.

One must start with the title, which probably has given many people a bit of a pause - and I think Dr. Keller did that on purpose. I know I tended to associate the word "prodigal" with the excessive lifestyle and wanderings of the younger son, but Keller points out that the definition of prodigal includes "recklessly extravagent" and "having spent everything" - both wonderful descriptions of the lavish love the Father of this story has for his wayward sons. Keller masterfully points us to Our Heavenly Father, who has been "recklessly extravagent" in his pursuit of changing sinners into sons.

Dr. Keller's treatment of the condition of the older son is masterful, and he emphasizes that though both sons are alienated from the Father in different ways, the Father loves both and calls them to reconciliation. He also explains why we are left hanging about the resolution of the Elder brother's relationship to the Father and how that related to his audience - the Pharisees.

This is another book making my top list, and it is one I would recommend to people - even people wondering about Christianity. This really does show how this parable gets to the Heart of the Christian faith - not the religion.

Review of "Lost in the Middle"

Table of Contents

Preface: A New Awareness
Introduction: The Bible and Midlife
Chapter 1: Midlife: A portrait
Chapter 2: Two Midlife Psalms
Chapter 3: The Death of Invincibility
Chapter 4: The Leaves are Off the Trees
Chapter 5: Towers to the Sky
Chapter 6: Lost in the Middle: Don's Story
Chapter 7: Painful Faith: God's Story and Suffering
Chapter 8: May I Speak to the Manager Please?
Chapter 9: Golden Calves
Chapter 10: Finding the Real You
Chapter 11: Last Chapter, First Values
Chapter 12: Grace That is Greater

Review of "Lost in the Middle"

Lost in the Middle
Midlife and the Grace of God
by Paul Tripp

Life interrupted my reading of this book. I read the first three quarters of it a few months ago and put the book down in favor of other pressing responsibilities. Now that they are completed, I have had time to pick up this book again, and it was refreshing. Reluctantly, I will admit that I am now in "mid-life" - although I surmise that Paul includes just about anyone whose life has shaped up to be different than they planned, but not yet contemplating "retirement." In short, just about everyone.

I have less hair than I used to, and my beard is peppered now. I have been going to the gym to try to regain at least a rough outline of my wrestling physique. My life is certainly not the way I would have arranged it or predicted it, and this book helped me to continue to deal with the fact that the plan my loving heavenly Father has for me is better - even though I don't understand it.

I love Paul's style and his use of real life as examples. I may not be able yet to identify with all the particulars of his examples - but I can see they are just around the bend ... however, the underlying categories of struggles are more than familiar to me ...

My Story is not primarily about me, and it is not limited to my myopic view of the world. Paul points at that we must recognize that there is a larger story in history, a story that includes millions and billions of people - individuals known by name to the Lord and yet gathered as a people for His Glory. Unless I see the bigger story, and see the hand of the Lord moving in my life to make me more into the image of his son for his glory, I will not be able to make sense out of life. If I live for money, pleasure, prestige, or anything other than God, midlife has a way of exposing empty dreams and unfulfilled promises. Just as Adam and Eve fell for the serpent's lie and found much bitterness in following him, we too fall for his tricks as we live for things that will ultimately not satisfy.

God is present in the midst of our lives, and he is present in our sufferings, mistakes, and sins. He is there because He is committed to us for His name's sake more than we are committed to our folly. Thus, we must know the end of the story - where He is taking us - before we can make sense out of where we are ...

I am planning to give this book to a number of people in my life, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is between graduation and the grave ...

Review of "The Reason for God"

Table of Contents

Part 1: The Leap of Doubt
ONE: There Can't Be Just One True Religion
TWO: How Could a Good God Allow Suffering
THREE: Christianity Is a Straightjacket
FOUR: The Church Is Responsible for So Much Injustice
FIVE: How Can a Loving God Send People to Hell?
SIX: Science Has Disproved Christianity
SEVEN: You Can't Take the Bible Literally

Intermission

Part 2: The Reasons for Faith
EIGHT: The Clues of God
NINE: The Knowledge of God
TEN: The Problem of Sin
ELEVEN:Religion and the Gospel
TWELVE: The (True) Story of the Cross
THIRTEEN: The Reality of the Resurrection
FOURTEEN: The Dance of God

Epilogue: Where do we go from here?

Review of "The Reason for God"

The Reason for God
Belief in an age of Skepticism
by Tim Keller

It is rather remarkable to have read 4 of my top 10 books in the past six months, but that is what has happened. I had heard good things about this book from my friends and it did not disappoint, as it became the third best book I have read - and it is not far from How People Change and Desiring God, although I would be surprised to see them toppled in the coming years.

Just about everything I have read from Tim Keller's pen has been good, and much of it inspires me to think beyond my own life. I wish this book had been available 20 years ago ... but God planned for me to read this book right at this point in my walk with Him, and so I shall not grumble ...

One can tell from Keller's book that he has had much interaction with real people asking real questions. I don't know how to go about describing this book without writing one myself, so let me share a few quotes that I wrote down as I read:

"Jesus does not tell us how to live so we can merit salvation. He comes to forgive us and save us through his life and death in our place." (p.19)

"God's grace does not come to those who morally outperform others but to those who admit their failure to perform and who acknowledge their need for a Savior." (p.19)

"Religion operates on the principle 'I obey - therefore I am accepted by God." But the operating principle of the gospel is "I am accepted by God through what Christ has done - therefore I obey." (p. 179-180)

"If I was saved by my good works then there would be a limit to what God could ask of me or put me through. I would be like a taxpayer with "rights" - I would have done my duty and now would deserve a certain quality of life. But if I am a sinner saved by sheer grace - then there's nothing he cannot ask of me." (p. 183)

"The latter is ... an effort to get control of God through your prayers and practices ... approaching God as a means to an end ... using God rather than trusting him." (p. 228)

Obviously, those are sections that stuck out to me, based on my history and where I am currently in my walk with God. There are plenty of other great sections of the book that others will highlight. Dr. Keller has done a great job of taking the most profound objections to Christianty and turning them around to show the logical inconsistencies in the argument against the Christian God.

While I wouldn't recommend this for my daughter quite yet, I would definitely recommend this to any teen or adult who wants to have a serious discussion about faith in the God of the Bible.

Summer Reading Plan

Here's my summer reading plan:

Galatians (8 times)
Romans
Psalms 1-12
Psalms 138-150
Exodus 20-33

The Expositor's Greek NT Commentary: Galatians
Galatians (MacArthur)
Galatians (Ramsay)
Galatians (Calvin)
Galatians (Ryken)
Galatians (Bible Knowledge Commentary)
Galatians (Wiersbe)
Galatians (Matthew Henry)

Sections on Justification in Chafer, Hodge, Grudem, Tennet
Sections on Sanctification in Chafer, Hodge, Grudem, Tennet
Sections on Just./Sanct. by Edwards, Van Til, Warfield

The Justification of God (Piper)
NT Wright and Piper
Sproul on Faith alone
Just./Sanct. in Paul:An Outline of His Theology (Ridderbos)

Whiter than Snow (Tripp)
The Reason for God (Keller)
Lost in the Middle (Tripp)
A tale of two sons (MacArthur)
The Prodigal God (Keller)
A Quest for More (Tripp)
Step by Step (Petty)
War of Words (Tripp)
Future Grace (Piper)
When People are Big and God is small (Welch)
Let the Nations Be Glad (Piper)
The Dispensational/Covenental Rift (Mangum)
Speaking Truth in Love (Powlison)
The Death of Death in the Death of Christ (Owen)
Seeing with New Eyes (Powlison)
Depression: A stubborn darkness (Welch)

Maybe overly ambitious ... we'll see

Top 10 books

My Top 10 recommended books that I have personally read ...

10. The Dispensational-Covenantal Rift (R. Todd Mangum)
9. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (CS Lewis)
8. When Sinners Say "I Do" (Dave Harvey)
7. Mere Christianity (CS Lewis)
6. Whiter than Snow (Paul Tripp)
5. Instruments in the Hands of the Redeemer (Paul Tripp)
4. Death By Love (Mark Driscoll)
3. The Reason for God (Tim Keller)
2. How People Change (Tim Lane)
1. Desiring God (John Piper)

The Path ...

You have hurt me
You have wronged me
What you have done deserves death
You deserve to die a painful death
You deserve hell

The path I travel is a painful one
A path of remembering
A path of looking behind more often than ahead
A path of pain
A path of sorrow
A path of brokenness
A path of unfulfilled potential
A path of tarnished dreams
A path that should never have been

I will be your everlasting judge
Whenever you come near me, you will face my wrath
I will cover my contempt with smiles and hugs
But you will know my loathing for you

At times, I will actively hate you
I will work for your undoing
I will seek your demise
I will pluck the flesh off your bones
Every day will be life-sucking

Other times I will ignore you
I will not think of you
You will not enter my thoughts
It will be as if you never existed
You will not have the joy of my companionship
You will not be comforted
You are exiled

Someday, you will get yours
When that day comes, I will cackle
Over your broken body
I will rejoice in your demise
I will send gifts to those I love
Rejoicing that your name will soon be forgotten
But not by me
For your name will be a curse
A word I will use to show contempt
A word that I will use callously and trivially
I will dream of your screams
I will know the sound of your bones being crushed
Justice
For all you have done

This is a path of stinking dung
Dung so deep my legs sink in to my knees
Muck so thick that I struggle to take the next step
Each time I labor to lift my foot
There is a sucking sound
As if the muck tries to pull me in
If I stand still
All is lost
I will drown
And I will be added to the muck and mire
Seeking to bring others down to me

My sin
My sin is against the One who is love
My sin is against the Creator and sustainer of all things
My sin is high treason against a good and perfect King
My sin is worse than despicable
My sin stinks up the whole universe
My sin wraps around my neck like the vines of a rose bush
Promising flowers but delivering piercing thorns dripping with blood
It pulls me down to the grave like so many science fiction monsters
But this is real
It pulls me down into the depths of the grave
Into hell itself
My very name
Is a curse to me

I have chosen my own way … rather than the way of one who loves me perfectly
I have chosen to try to rule my own life … rather than to trust Him
I have chosen to set up my own Kingdom … rather than build His
I have chosen to pursue my own comforts … rather than serve Him
I have chosen my foolishness … rather than His wisdom
I have chosen darkness ... rather than light
I have chosen death … over life

Death
Darkness
Silent screams full of terror
Disorientation
Not knowing which way is up
Unable to breathe
Flames lapping at my feet
But never quenched
Justice
For all I have done
Despair

Hope
A light piercing the darkness
The last word not yet spoken
Destinies can be changed
If only
If only there was a King
A King greater than our sin
A King more loving than our hatred
A King committed to Himself
And all that is right and good and true
More than we are committed to our folly
A King with grace and mercy as his companions
A King whose word is his bond
And whose heart is true

Where is this King
We look for this King
Could he be the One
Whom we have disregarded
Whom we have spat upon
Whom we have flogged
Whom we have forsaken
Whom we have cursed
Who has forgiven us freely
For no other reason than He wanted to

We who have brought shame to His Name
We who have insisted on making our own path
We who have judged others
We who call on mute idols to save us
Like riches, power, position, pleasure, or independence
We who fought to be the Captain of our souls
And then shipwrecked upon those jagged rocks of sin
Always seen, rarely feared
We who scourged him
We who drove the nails in
We who crowned him with thorns
We who pierced his side
And mocked his nakedness
And watched him die
No justice
For what had he done to deserve this
For the joy
For the joy set before him
For the joy of bringing many sons and daughters into the Kingdom
For the joy of forgiveness
For the joy of restoration

Forgiveness is not free
Someone paid my debt
Someone took my punishment
Someone took my death
That I fully deserved
That I fully earned
That someone is him
While I was still his enemy
While I was still a rebel
While I was still a thieving murderer loose in his kingdom
He died
He died for me
He died in my place – not just that I might live
Not just that I might be a good slave
Not just that I might have a second chance
He died to make me His
He died to make me His child
He gave me full rights as a child of God
Where I go, I do not deserve
Where he leads, I go – and rejoice

His people resemble him
His children rise and call him blessed
His people call him Faithful and True
Compassionate and Loving
Just and Merciful
Righteousness clothed in unrighteousness
Beauty clothed in ugliness
Majesty crowned in criminality
Paradox
Wonder of wonders!
Life clothed in death

Justice upheld
Mercy triumphant
Love fulfilled
Grace granted
Only believe

The path of a citizen
The path of one forgiven so much
The path of an adopted one
People of the Kingdom forgive
Ambassadors of the King forgive
Children of the King forgive
The path of a beloved
The path of a son
His path

Forgiveness

Not because they must, but because they want to
They want to resemble their King, their Savior, their Father …
We are most like God when we forgive those who have wronged us
Those who have hurt us
Those who have done things that deserve punishment and condemnation

Forgiveness is the loosing of the hand on the noose
The dropping of the whip to scourge
The burning of the ledger of debts

Forgiveness is setting down the hammer and spikes
Time and time again
As you find them in your hands

Forgiveness is remembering the price paid for my great debt
and the smallness of the debt before me
and doing holy math

completing the divine equation
letting flow from my heart what has flowed into it
receiving grace as I kneel before the King
and freely offering it to my worst enemy

Forgiveness frees us from hanging on to the one who hurt us
Bitterness binds us to them every step they take
Forgiveness allows us to see the world again
Bitterness draws the one who hurt us nose to nose that we might extract vengeance … and see nothing else

I’m remembering the hurt … again
The pain … the tears …
I need to remember
Remember the great debt you forgave me
That I might not see this debt through a microscope
Making small things large
And yet, this pain is so overwhelming
It is impossible to forgive
Father, you excel in the impossible
You make your great name and power known
Through change
Change in people like me
To do impossible things

Father forgive us our sins
As we forgive those who sin against us
Father cleanse me
As I release others from my grasp

This path is hard
This path is painful
This path is self-denying
This path
Leads
To
Life

This path
Leads from a cross
To the throne
Of our Father
We must walk it
More than once
And lead others
Through it

This path
Is good

Between Two Worlds

Between Two Worlds

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A truly different funeral ...

I went, last Thursday to the funeral of the 24-year old niece of one of our Elders. She was killed in a car accident on February 7 at about 10 AM. I went along with 3 other Elders primarily to support our fellow Elder, his daughter, his son, and the rest of his family. Funerals are obviously something you never want to go to - especially for someone so young.

This funeral was different than any I had ever been to before. First, there were, at my rough estimate, at least 1500 people there. While that is a lot, one might attribute it to a sudden death of someone so young. Second, the funeral lasted 3 and 1/2 hours - and there was really only one ten-minute section or so where I felt it was dragging a bit, with all due respect. For the rest of the time, the pastors did a wonderful job incorporating meaningful music (surprisingly upbeat for a funeral one might say) and the chosen representative speakers spoke from the heart and spoke well. I did not know the young woman, and so I was somewhat emotionally detached from the sudden tragedy, but I left there actually feeling ministered to. It was different than anything I've ever been to before. It was a funeral I would want to have at my time to minister to my friends and family - especially those who do not know the Lord.

Some of the details of her life I remember are this: She had grown up in this particular church and spent years in the youth group and young adult ministries. She went on missions trips to China, where she befriended many Chinese nationals - one in particular. Apparently this young lady was not just attractive and had a good personality, but had a way about her that made those around her feel valued. She went to college, where she continued to make friends and reach out to those around her. After graduating last May, she spent about a year looking for employment in her field - looking back, the family said that they were grateful for this past year and the time they could spend together. About two months ago, she got a job in her chosen field and was adjusting to it well. On that Saturday morning, she was on her way to do something (I forget if it was shopping or something else). The same morning, a husband and wife had an argument elsewhere in her city. The wife took off in her car, and the husband sped after her in his. Apparently, he lost control of his vehicle, crossing the median and hitting this young woman head on. She did not die immediately, and some of the paramedics were there at her funeral to be honored for their efforts at saving her. But she died at the scene.

As I reflect upon this incident, there are questions and thoughts that come to my mind - perhaps the same ones as yours. Why did this happen to someone so young? Why didn't she get delayed in her driveway and therefore miss the oncoming car? Why did someone who was apparently living well for the Lord die like this? Who can protect their children from tragedy in this world? If it can happen to her, what about my kids? What greater purpose could there be in this rather than letting her live out her life on the apparent track she was on? If this might happen at any time, is it better not to have kids? Who has any real control over anything in their lives?

Humanly speaking, this man and his wife are culpable for this death. From what I know, there was no wrong doing - not even a minor traffic infraction - by this young woman. Do you feel the wrongness of this? Do you see that this is just another example of a world gone mad by sin? Do you have that "righteous indignation" that this was so WRONG for this child to be taken like this! Does your heart want justice for this family? Do you not want to see our human justice system perform correctly here? Do you not want God to intervene in this family's life - to right the wrongs, to undo the damage, to restore vibrant life to where it was? Does not your heart long for this? My heart rages against the seeming senselessness of this ...

But then I consider ... Do you (I) see yourself (myself) as "different" from the husband and wife? Do you see that perhaps this could have been you after an argument with someone? Do you see in yourself the seeds of such sin of disregard for others around you? Do you sense your self-absorption to the exclusion of foresight of the tragedy you may inadvertently cause because of adherence to your agenda or your consumption in your fears, tears, or anger? Do you see the unintended consequences that could befall a moment of distracted driving?

I certainly don't have answers to the ultimate questions. The self-introspective ones I may have an inkling, but I don't like the answers. I'm not sure anyone does. The family stated that they were having a hard time themselves seeing this as from the Lord - and yet, in faith, they affirmed verses like "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will return. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Blessed be the name of the Lord." I'm not sure I could say the same thing looking at my child's coffin. I know I don't want to find out. I'd rather have my arms and legs cut off than lose one of my kids - and I would gladly die for them. But I don't know the danger around them, nor the danger coming at them - and I can't control their environment enough to guarantee safety. All I can do is trust - trust the Lord that His sovereign hand is at work in even this and that there is some greater plan to life than just my personal happiness. But, wow, I so do not want to go anywhere near the pain this family has gone through. God's answer is always best - but I do not have the ability to understand this one.

One might be able to be cynical and say "everyone says nice things at a funeral" or "it is easy to put together a show and not reflect the reality in their lives." One might be right, too. But something came through that night that these were not just empty sayings and religious words - these really seemed to reflect the people's hearts. The depth of pain, in my opinion, stripped away any veneer and I think we got a glimpse into her family's heart. They are certainly hurting, probably more so now that the shock is wearing off and life returns to "normal" - as normal as it can get knowing that you will never see your youngest daughter walk through the door this side of eternity again.

How do you make sense of a tragedy like this? I don't think you can. It's a bit of an overused word picture, but I think it is accurate to say that the bottom side of a beautiful tapestry makes no sense until you see the top. I believe the Bible teaches that God is sovereign over all things - which means at the very least, he allowed this to happen. But this really is where theology meets life. Can one affirm in the darkest places what one is taught in the light? How does the Bible teach us to deal with tragedy in light of the truth presented about God's sovereignty? God himself does not back away from the hard answers sovereignty points to. It would be far too easy to remain sterile and academic about this and rattle off the "right answers." But how would you help this grieving family?

Would you try to find "the right words" to say? Or would you refrain from speaking any words - choosing to weep with those who weep? Would you try to answer a grieving father's cries as he questions why his daughter was taken in this manner? Or would you believe there is no suitable answer to tragedy - no intellectual reason that can make it OK at this moment - and seek to just enter the pain with him?

Would you quote Bible verses to them? Would you try to tell them of a time when you faced a tragedy? Would you try to tell them they just need "more faith?" Would you assume (even if you never said it) that they or this woman must have done something to deserve this? How would you minister to them at this time? Would your words (or silence) add to his grief, comfort him, or just be empty like dusty cobwebs in the corner of the ceiling which no one can reach?

You see, I think our understanding of the gospel has got to be able to handle even these tragedies. If the gospel cannot answer the pain of this family, the gospel has no real power. Christ must be savior in the midst of tragedy, or He is no savior. This should drive us to seek deep answers to hard questions. There are answers. God can handle the tough questions. Don't give a 5 cent answer to a hundred dollar question. Trite phrases and glib quotes won't help pain this deep. There must be something to our faith to help people like this.

This was a tragedy. The family and friends are grieving deeply. They grieve with hope, however. They know their God is trustworthy, that this life is fleeting, and that one day, they will see their daughter/sister/friend again. One day, God will set all things right. That day is not today however. I don't think I have the strength to go through what they did - and yet, I am powerless to prevent such a thing from happening. I have no other choice but to throw myself on his mercy and love and know that whatever comes into my life, comes to my life through nail-pierced hands. I shudder and beg, but I try to trust ...

New Meanings ...

I was at a gathering today with a bunch of Yankee fans. It was SO SWEET for the first time in my adult life to be able to talk to Yankee fans from the position of having the World Championship trophy reside in Philadelphia!!! Ohhhh, how sweet!!!

While certainly not mean-spirited, I did unleash at least 28 years worth of pent-up frustration in little barbs and some good-natured trash talking. In that vein, I now dub new meaning for the following words:

Met verb. 1. to choke 2. to blunder in a big way at least twice
usage: "Make sure you know the Heimlich maneuver in case your child Mets." "Believe it or not, the runner Metted when he failed to touch both first and second on his game-winning home run trot, and his team lost the game!"

Yankee adj. 1. something that cost a lot of money but is ineffective in its execution or a fake 2. a spectacular blunder
usage: "I sure hope the new plan congress has passed is not Yankee for the sake of the country" "Scientists have recently renamed iron pyrite, commonly known as 'fool's gold' as 'Yankee gold" "Bill Buckner was finally let off the hook for his famous Yankee when the Red Sox won it all in 2004"

Phillie adj. 1. something that is reasonable in price and performs extremely well and is genuine 2. a spectacular play, performance, or eventusage: "The top-ranked car in Consumer reports is Phillie!" "Going to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway is Phillie" "Phillie gold is the opposite of Yankee gold"

World Series Trophy ...

Yesterday, I was able to go to a local restaurant and see the Philliesw 2008 World Series Trophy on display. You could get your picture taken with the trophy, and so I got my number - #208. I wish my children or my dad or brother or someone could have gone with me - these things are always better when shared ...

Although I did not touch it - I wanted to, but refrained - I was inches away from the trophy as someone snapped my picture for me. Why is it that things like this draw so much attention? Why do they attract middle-aged men and young boys, little old ladies and young girls - people of all ages? One could be pessimistic and say that we have a out-of-proportional view of sports, and perhaps one would be right. But I think there is something else going on - at least for me. Why do people so identify with their teams that they think that eating a hot dog in 3 bites will affect the outcome of the game (I'm sure many have seen the commercial a few years back capitalizing on this phenomena)? Why do our hopes rise with the team's success - only to be crushed if they fall short (Hello, Eagles) or culminating in euphoria if they win (Hello, Phillies)?

I think it is that Quest to belong to something bigger than oneself, the quest to matter in the universe. Pascal said that we all have a God-shaped void in our heart and I think he is right - we will try to fill it with anything we can get our "hands" on. To have someone know our name, to have someone care - to live on past our life ... are these not the things so many people live for? There are few truly consistent atheists who have the integrity of Nitzche - "The only question with which modern man has to struggle with is whether or not to commit suicide." If there is no God, what does anything matter? Why do we seek after these things? If there is no God, being a Phillie or Yankee or Cub fan does not matter one second after you die ...

But I think even for those who believe in God, who know the true and living God, there is still a proper place for cheering for a sports team (or something else if you're not into sports). The greed and corruption at all levels taints everything, yet we still cheer. Is it not because we yearn for anything that echoes the majesty of God? Do we not have our breath taken away by the Grand Canyon or by a perfect game or by our team putting everything together and winning it all? Does it not give us an echo of the true majesty and coming victory of our King? Is it not a small glimpse into the real reality of life - those things that are currently unseen, but will be revealed in due time?

Yes, keep sports in their proper place - but don't forget to teach your children that the greatness of sport glory, the perfection on display with champions is only the palest of glimpses at what truly will satisfy your heart - the Lord of Glory coming in all His splendor. And, if you are his, one day you will see Him as He truly as - and be transformed to be like him yourself. What glory and mystery is this!

Tired of divisions ...

I'm so tired of all the infighting. Every area of doctrine that can be disputed has been disputed and it so often degenerates into "us" versus "them" - and "them" is always two-headed purple monsters who eat children. I guess I should be glad I wasn't born into another time or another part of the world where they kill those who disagree. Religion has been blamed by so many for causing many ills in this world. At a cursory glance, one might agree. But I really believe that true, Biblical Christianity is not a cause. There are always false followers, bad followers, and followers who sin and stumble. I can't say what went on in the hearts of the crusaders, in the hearts of those who persecuted the reformers, the anabaptists, and the like, but the evidence seems to say, at best, they missed the point.

Yet, I do believe in truth. I believe it matters what you believe. You can believe you are a rocket ship, but good luck making it to outer space. You can believe you can fly, but don't test that by jumping off a 50-story building. It matters whether we believe in God, whether we believe in sin, in redemption, in justification ... whether we believe the gospel. It matters whether we are trinitarian, unitarian, atheistic, monotheistic, or polytheistic. It matters whether you think you are saved by baptism, or whether it is symbolic of an inner reality.

So we do need to strive for the truth, to know the truth, to contend for the truth. Is there a way, though, to believe and contend for the truth without being contentious and divisive? Is there a way to avoid arguments over secondary matters while still holding convictions?

Lord, you are the truth .. and you are love. You are patient, kind, and so on. You are far more than a warm fuzzy feeling. You are a rock that will fall and crush your enemies - and it is good that you are. Help me to know how I should think, act, and contend for truth - for You. You are King and some day there will bee a decree to carry out death sentences on your enemies. But that is not today - help me to see how to get along with my brothers and sisters ... for Your Name's Sake ...

Turning 40 ...

Well, I did it. It wasn't much, really - all I had to do was watch the clock and keep breathing. As simple as it gets - and yet utterly beyond my control. If it had been the Lord's will for me to stop breathing the moment just before I was "officially" 40, what could I have done about it? Not a thing. But here I am, still breathing, but becoming more aware of the preciousness of every breath. Someday, barring the Lord's return, my breathing will stop. Personally, I hope it's not for about 50 years. I'd like to see my kids grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. I would like to see them get married. I would like to have time with my grand-kids, should I be so blessed. More than anything, though, I want them to be there. I want to spend eternity with them praising the Lord who made us, saved us, and gave us every heavenly blessing in Christ. What tragedy it would be to spend a cherished lifetime with them, only to have them absent throughout eternity. 40 years is nothing in light of that - and so is 90. A billion years in the face of an eternity is but a blinking eye. What a strange reality the Lord has us in! 60, 70, maybe 80 or more years of this reality - this physical reality that tempts us to believe the temporal is all there is - and then ... forever.

Turning 40 doesn't mean a whole lot. We fall in love with our base 10 round numbers - just like Y2K and 100 and so on. But in base 7, I'm 55 ... and in base 12, I'm 34. Not so round. In binary, I'm 101000 - now that looks "big" and "round" - ooooh, must be significant. It's funny how we think of our lives. Yes, I'm halfway to 80 - and as my brother pointed out, a third of the way to 120. I'm closer to retirement age than my pre-teen years, and the wrinkles around my eyes show when I smile. The people I love are also getting older, and, unfortunately, loss is right around the corner - which corner, I don't know. But I know whom I have trusted with my soul, and for the number of days I have left, and for the care of my children's souls - the Lord is good.

My life has been grouped into 4 sets of 10 - I'm now marking off that fifth set day by day. The Lord knows the number of hairs on my head, as well as the days left in my life. He sees everything, knows everything, and works out his will in everything. Someday soon - it is only a moment from now - and He will reveal himself in full splendor! Will my eyes see for themselves what up until now my heart can only see through faith?