A truly different funeral ...

I went, last Thursday to the funeral of the 24-year old niece of one of our Elders. She was killed in a car accident on February 7 at about 10 AM. I went along with 3 other Elders primarily to support our fellow Elder, his daughter, his son, and the rest of his family. Funerals are obviously something you never want to go to - especially for someone so young.

This funeral was different than any I had ever been to before. First, there were, at my rough estimate, at least 1500 people there. While that is a lot, one might attribute it to a sudden death of someone so young. Second, the funeral lasted 3 and 1/2 hours - and there was really only one ten-minute section or so where I felt it was dragging a bit, with all due respect. For the rest of the time, the pastors did a wonderful job incorporating meaningful music (surprisingly upbeat for a funeral one might say) and the chosen representative speakers spoke from the heart and spoke well. I did not know the young woman, and so I was somewhat emotionally detached from the sudden tragedy, but I left there actually feeling ministered to. It was different than anything I've ever been to before. It was a funeral I would want to have at my time to minister to my friends and family - especially those who do not know the Lord.

Some of the details of her life I remember are this: She had grown up in this particular church and spent years in the youth group and young adult ministries. She went on missions trips to China, where she befriended many Chinese nationals - one in particular. Apparently this young lady was not just attractive and had a good personality, but had a way about her that made those around her feel valued. She went to college, where she continued to make friends and reach out to those around her. After graduating last May, she spent about a year looking for employment in her field - looking back, the family said that they were grateful for this past year and the time they could spend together. About two months ago, she got a job in her chosen field and was adjusting to it well. On that Saturday morning, she was on her way to do something (I forget if it was shopping or something else). The same morning, a husband and wife had an argument elsewhere in her city. The wife took off in her car, and the husband sped after her in his. Apparently, he lost control of his vehicle, crossing the median and hitting this young woman head on. She did not die immediately, and some of the paramedics were there at her funeral to be honored for their efforts at saving her. But she died at the scene.

As I reflect upon this incident, there are questions and thoughts that come to my mind - perhaps the same ones as yours. Why did this happen to someone so young? Why didn't she get delayed in her driveway and therefore miss the oncoming car? Why did someone who was apparently living well for the Lord die like this? Who can protect their children from tragedy in this world? If it can happen to her, what about my kids? What greater purpose could there be in this rather than letting her live out her life on the apparent track she was on? If this might happen at any time, is it better not to have kids? Who has any real control over anything in their lives?

Humanly speaking, this man and his wife are culpable for this death. From what I know, there was no wrong doing - not even a minor traffic infraction - by this young woman. Do you feel the wrongness of this? Do you see that this is just another example of a world gone mad by sin? Do you have that "righteous indignation" that this was so WRONG for this child to be taken like this! Does your heart want justice for this family? Do you not want to see our human justice system perform correctly here? Do you not want God to intervene in this family's life - to right the wrongs, to undo the damage, to restore vibrant life to where it was? Does not your heart long for this? My heart rages against the seeming senselessness of this ...

But then I consider ... Do you (I) see yourself (myself) as "different" from the husband and wife? Do you see that perhaps this could have been you after an argument with someone? Do you see in yourself the seeds of such sin of disregard for others around you? Do you sense your self-absorption to the exclusion of foresight of the tragedy you may inadvertently cause because of adherence to your agenda or your consumption in your fears, tears, or anger? Do you see the unintended consequences that could befall a moment of distracted driving?

I certainly don't have answers to the ultimate questions. The self-introspective ones I may have an inkling, but I don't like the answers. I'm not sure anyone does. The family stated that they were having a hard time themselves seeing this as from the Lord - and yet, in faith, they affirmed verses like "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will return. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Blessed be the name of the Lord." I'm not sure I could say the same thing looking at my child's coffin. I know I don't want to find out. I'd rather have my arms and legs cut off than lose one of my kids - and I would gladly die for them. But I don't know the danger around them, nor the danger coming at them - and I can't control their environment enough to guarantee safety. All I can do is trust - trust the Lord that His sovereign hand is at work in even this and that there is some greater plan to life than just my personal happiness. But, wow, I so do not want to go anywhere near the pain this family has gone through. God's answer is always best - but I do not have the ability to understand this one.

One might be able to be cynical and say "everyone says nice things at a funeral" or "it is easy to put together a show and not reflect the reality in their lives." One might be right, too. But something came through that night that these were not just empty sayings and religious words - these really seemed to reflect the people's hearts. The depth of pain, in my opinion, stripped away any veneer and I think we got a glimpse into her family's heart. They are certainly hurting, probably more so now that the shock is wearing off and life returns to "normal" - as normal as it can get knowing that you will never see your youngest daughter walk through the door this side of eternity again.

How do you make sense of a tragedy like this? I don't think you can. It's a bit of an overused word picture, but I think it is accurate to say that the bottom side of a beautiful tapestry makes no sense until you see the top. I believe the Bible teaches that God is sovereign over all things - which means at the very least, he allowed this to happen. But this really is where theology meets life. Can one affirm in the darkest places what one is taught in the light? How does the Bible teach us to deal with tragedy in light of the truth presented about God's sovereignty? God himself does not back away from the hard answers sovereignty points to. It would be far too easy to remain sterile and academic about this and rattle off the "right answers." But how would you help this grieving family?

Would you try to find "the right words" to say? Or would you refrain from speaking any words - choosing to weep with those who weep? Would you try to answer a grieving father's cries as he questions why his daughter was taken in this manner? Or would you believe there is no suitable answer to tragedy - no intellectual reason that can make it OK at this moment - and seek to just enter the pain with him?

Would you quote Bible verses to them? Would you try to tell them of a time when you faced a tragedy? Would you try to tell them they just need "more faith?" Would you assume (even if you never said it) that they or this woman must have done something to deserve this? How would you minister to them at this time? Would your words (or silence) add to his grief, comfort him, or just be empty like dusty cobwebs in the corner of the ceiling which no one can reach?

You see, I think our understanding of the gospel has got to be able to handle even these tragedies. If the gospel cannot answer the pain of this family, the gospel has no real power. Christ must be savior in the midst of tragedy, or He is no savior. This should drive us to seek deep answers to hard questions. There are answers. God can handle the tough questions. Don't give a 5 cent answer to a hundred dollar question. Trite phrases and glib quotes won't help pain this deep. There must be something to our faith to help people like this.

This was a tragedy. The family and friends are grieving deeply. They grieve with hope, however. They know their God is trustworthy, that this life is fleeting, and that one day, they will see their daughter/sister/friend again. One day, God will set all things right. That day is not today however. I don't think I have the strength to go through what they did - and yet, I am powerless to prevent such a thing from happening. I have no other choice but to throw myself on his mercy and love and know that whatever comes into my life, comes to my life through nail-pierced hands. I shudder and beg, but I try to trust ...

New Meanings ...

I was at a gathering today with a bunch of Yankee fans. It was SO SWEET for the first time in my adult life to be able to talk to Yankee fans from the position of having the World Championship trophy reside in Philadelphia!!! Ohhhh, how sweet!!!

While certainly not mean-spirited, I did unleash at least 28 years worth of pent-up frustration in little barbs and some good-natured trash talking. In that vein, I now dub new meaning for the following words:

Met verb. 1. to choke 2. to blunder in a big way at least twice
usage: "Make sure you know the Heimlich maneuver in case your child Mets." "Believe it or not, the runner Metted when he failed to touch both first and second on his game-winning home run trot, and his team lost the game!"

Yankee adj. 1. something that cost a lot of money but is ineffective in its execution or a fake 2. a spectacular blunder
usage: "I sure hope the new plan congress has passed is not Yankee for the sake of the country" "Scientists have recently renamed iron pyrite, commonly known as 'fool's gold' as 'Yankee gold" "Bill Buckner was finally let off the hook for his famous Yankee when the Red Sox won it all in 2004"

Phillie adj. 1. something that is reasonable in price and performs extremely well and is genuine 2. a spectacular play, performance, or eventusage: "The top-ranked car in Consumer reports is Phillie!" "Going to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway is Phillie" "Phillie gold is the opposite of Yankee gold"

World Series Trophy ...

Yesterday, I was able to go to a local restaurant and see the Philliesw 2008 World Series Trophy on display. You could get your picture taken with the trophy, and so I got my number - #208. I wish my children or my dad or brother or someone could have gone with me - these things are always better when shared ...

Although I did not touch it - I wanted to, but refrained - I was inches away from the trophy as someone snapped my picture for me. Why is it that things like this draw so much attention? Why do they attract middle-aged men and young boys, little old ladies and young girls - people of all ages? One could be pessimistic and say that we have a out-of-proportional view of sports, and perhaps one would be right. But I think there is something else going on - at least for me. Why do people so identify with their teams that they think that eating a hot dog in 3 bites will affect the outcome of the game (I'm sure many have seen the commercial a few years back capitalizing on this phenomena)? Why do our hopes rise with the team's success - only to be crushed if they fall short (Hello, Eagles) or culminating in euphoria if they win (Hello, Phillies)?

I think it is that Quest to belong to something bigger than oneself, the quest to matter in the universe. Pascal said that we all have a God-shaped void in our heart and I think he is right - we will try to fill it with anything we can get our "hands" on. To have someone know our name, to have someone care - to live on past our life ... are these not the things so many people live for? There are few truly consistent atheists who have the integrity of Nitzche - "The only question with which modern man has to struggle with is whether or not to commit suicide." If there is no God, what does anything matter? Why do we seek after these things? If there is no God, being a Phillie or Yankee or Cub fan does not matter one second after you die ...

But I think even for those who believe in God, who know the true and living God, there is still a proper place for cheering for a sports team (or something else if you're not into sports). The greed and corruption at all levels taints everything, yet we still cheer. Is it not because we yearn for anything that echoes the majesty of God? Do we not have our breath taken away by the Grand Canyon or by a perfect game or by our team putting everything together and winning it all? Does it not give us an echo of the true majesty and coming victory of our King? Is it not a small glimpse into the real reality of life - those things that are currently unseen, but will be revealed in due time?

Yes, keep sports in their proper place - but don't forget to teach your children that the greatness of sport glory, the perfection on display with champions is only the palest of glimpses at what truly will satisfy your heart - the Lord of Glory coming in all His splendor. And, if you are his, one day you will see Him as He truly as - and be transformed to be like him yourself. What glory and mystery is this!

Tired of divisions ...

I'm so tired of all the infighting. Every area of doctrine that can be disputed has been disputed and it so often degenerates into "us" versus "them" - and "them" is always two-headed purple monsters who eat children. I guess I should be glad I wasn't born into another time or another part of the world where they kill those who disagree. Religion has been blamed by so many for causing many ills in this world. At a cursory glance, one might agree. But I really believe that true, Biblical Christianity is not a cause. There are always false followers, bad followers, and followers who sin and stumble. I can't say what went on in the hearts of the crusaders, in the hearts of those who persecuted the reformers, the anabaptists, and the like, but the evidence seems to say, at best, they missed the point.

Yet, I do believe in truth. I believe it matters what you believe. You can believe you are a rocket ship, but good luck making it to outer space. You can believe you can fly, but don't test that by jumping off a 50-story building. It matters whether we believe in God, whether we believe in sin, in redemption, in justification ... whether we believe the gospel. It matters whether we are trinitarian, unitarian, atheistic, monotheistic, or polytheistic. It matters whether you think you are saved by baptism, or whether it is symbolic of an inner reality.

So we do need to strive for the truth, to know the truth, to contend for the truth. Is there a way, though, to believe and contend for the truth without being contentious and divisive? Is there a way to avoid arguments over secondary matters while still holding convictions?

Lord, you are the truth .. and you are love. You are patient, kind, and so on. You are far more than a warm fuzzy feeling. You are a rock that will fall and crush your enemies - and it is good that you are. Help me to know how I should think, act, and contend for truth - for You. You are King and some day there will bee a decree to carry out death sentences on your enemies. But that is not today - help me to see how to get along with my brothers and sisters ... for Your Name's Sake ...

Turning 40 ...

Well, I did it. It wasn't much, really - all I had to do was watch the clock and keep breathing. As simple as it gets - and yet utterly beyond my control. If it had been the Lord's will for me to stop breathing the moment just before I was "officially" 40, what could I have done about it? Not a thing. But here I am, still breathing, but becoming more aware of the preciousness of every breath. Someday, barring the Lord's return, my breathing will stop. Personally, I hope it's not for about 50 years. I'd like to see my kids grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. I would like to see them get married. I would like to have time with my grand-kids, should I be so blessed. More than anything, though, I want them to be there. I want to spend eternity with them praising the Lord who made us, saved us, and gave us every heavenly blessing in Christ. What tragedy it would be to spend a cherished lifetime with them, only to have them absent throughout eternity. 40 years is nothing in light of that - and so is 90. A billion years in the face of an eternity is but a blinking eye. What a strange reality the Lord has us in! 60, 70, maybe 80 or more years of this reality - this physical reality that tempts us to believe the temporal is all there is - and then ... forever.

Turning 40 doesn't mean a whole lot. We fall in love with our base 10 round numbers - just like Y2K and 100 and so on. But in base 7, I'm 55 ... and in base 12, I'm 34. Not so round. In binary, I'm 101000 - now that looks "big" and "round" - ooooh, must be significant. It's funny how we think of our lives. Yes, I'm halfway to 80 - and as my brother pointed out, a third of the way to 120. I'm closer to retirement age than my pre-teen years, and the wrinkles around my eyes show when I smile. The people I love are also getting older, and, unfortunately, loss is right around the corner - which corner, I don't know. But I know whom I have trusted with my soul, and for the number of days I have left, and for the care of my children's souls - the Lord is good.

My life has been grouped into 4 sets of 10 - I'm now marking off that fifth set day by day. The Lord knows the number of hairs on my head, as well as the days left in my life. He sees everything, knows everything, and works out his will in everything. Someday soon - it is only a moment from now - and He will reveal himself in full splendor! Will my eyes see for themselves what up until now my heart can only see through faith?

Despero

This is a drawing I did of Despero, the character in a movie I saw with my children over Christmas while in Tennessee.

Escher's Eye

This is a picture I drew over Christmas while in Tennessee. I used MC Escher's "eye" as the model.

Review - Death By Love (Mark Driscoll)

The twelve chapters of this book are unique, hard-hitting application of 12 theological truths of Christ's identity and what he accomplished on our behalf, written as letters to members of his congregation. Mark pulls no punches, both in describing sin's ugliness and God's gracious and radical solution in Christ.

I resonate with this book, I think, mostly because it is not sterile. It does not clean up stories, sugar coat the diagnosis or walk the politically correct church line. Therefore, I believe it will actually help many people. It rings of truth in situations to me the way God's Word does - not the sanitized biographies we read in today's Christian culture. God didn't hide the warts and ugliness of life in general or of his saints in particular - including the ones we hold up as heroes of the faith. We do a great disservice to everyone when we sanitize life.

On the other hand, I'm sure if every book was written in this style, we would quickly become desensitized to it - as we do with TV, movies and other parts of our culture. This book serves an important place in my library and it is one of my favorite books, but it is not for everyone. It should be, in my opinion - but not everyone is ready for it. It is a must-read for mature Christians and those who give simplistic answers to life's tough questions. The fact that it does so well what it does while "teaching" theology warms my heart and makes me wonder if there really is hope after all for the American church.

Review - Death By Love (Mark Driscoll)

Table of Contents:

Introduction: "We killed God:Jesus is Our Substitutionary Atonement

Ch 1: "Demons Are Tormenting Me" - Jesus is Katie's Christus Victor
Ch 2: "Lust Is My God" - Jesus is Thomas' Redemption
Ch 3: "My Wife Slept with My Friend" - Jesus is Luke's New Covenant Sacrifice
Ch 4: "I Am a 'Good' Christian" - Jesus is David's Gift Righteousness
Ch 5: "I Molested a Child" - Jesus is John's Justification
Ch 6: "My Dad Used to Beat Me" - Jesus is Bill's Propitiation
Ch 7: "He Raped Me" - Jesus is Mary's Expiation
Ch 8: "My Daddy Is a Pastor" - Jesus is Gideon's Unlimited Limited Atonement
Ch 9: "I Am Going to Hell" - Jesus is Hank's Ransom
Ch 10: "My Wife Has a Brain Tumor" - Jesus is Caleb's Christus Exemplar
Ch 11: "I Hate My Brother" - Jesus is Kurt's Reconciliation
Ch 12: "I Want to Know God" - Jesus is Susan's Revelation

Phillies Win!!!

The Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series!!!

I find myself wondering if I am dreaming. For most of my life, the Phillies have been a losing team, but I have stuck with them. The 1980 season, of course, has been the most vivid good memory of them all ... until now. The team of Rose, Trillo, Bowa, Schmidt, McBride, Maddox, Luzinski, Boone, Carlton and McGraw has been the team aainst which to measure all other teams. When you only have one World Series Champion, it is not hard to agree among fans which is the best ... but now, we have 2. Two - not 26 or whatever it is for the Yankees. Not uniquely one, either, though.

Now I have the team of Howard, Utley, Rollins, Feliz, Burrell, Victorino, Werth, Ruiz, Hamels and Lidge to compete with my '80 team. Which is better? Do you have to pick one over the other? Is there enough room in a fan's heart for both? What happens if they win another? These are new things for Philadelphia fans to ponder ... I've never seen the Eagles win it all, nor the Flyers, and I saw the Sixers win in '83. Singular teams have been the norm for my fandom. What now?

If only someone had warned me how complex life was going to get ... ;)

Game 4 Win

Well, we were at Game 4 of the 2008 World Series last night between the Tampa Rays and the Philadelphia Phillies. It was fantastic! We got there hours before the gates opened - I think we may have been technically the first ones in line - at least, the first ones at the outfield gates. It was a beautiful fall day and the Eagles game provided some entertainment for a while - there was a projection screen set up along Citizens Bank ballpark, along with the many news agency vans and souvenir stands. My dad and uncle sat at the gates of the park and talked baseball with other fans as they slowly collected.

Inside the park, the workers were getting ready to hand out the "rally towels" to all fans - something so simple, and yet they unify people in a small but real way. When they finally opened the gates, they opened every other gate - of course, ours wasn't one of them. So although we lined up first, we weren't the first ones in. You would have thought the people we shared conversation with through the gate could have told us our gate wasn't going to open, but they didn't.

Walking inside our park was different - the air was different somehow. It was World Series air. My dad ran off to Bull's Barbecue for his standard fare. I decided to get in line at Tony Luke's since the line was relatively short (I think I only waited 10 minutes to place my order). That cheese steak was a World Series cheese steak - and boy did it taste good!

We scouted out our seats in left field, below the big scoreboard. They were actually quite good if you don't mind being away from home plate and not seeing the big board graphics. We were able to see, perhaps for the last time, Pat Burrell in a Phillies uniform. His stock seems to have risen in Philadelphia, although perhaps not enough to justify bringing him back.

Across Ashburn Alley from us was the Baseball tonight setup - we could see John Kruk and Karl Ravitsch with Steve Phillps and Peter Gammons. After the game, they would broadcast baseball tonight. As the fans were leaving, they would chant Kruk's name and although he was working on some kind of a report, he would raise both his arms in acknowledgement to the crowd and the fans would cheer. The pictures I took came out a little blurry, but I got a good one of Kruk's back ... :)

The stadium began to fill and as I walked around to see where my aunt and uncle got to stand with their standing room only tickets, I ran into my friend who works for a local newspaper. I didn't realize he was also a big Phillies fan, though I should have ... So, there were 4 other people I know at the game besides me - 4 out of about 42,000 or .01% ... My aunt and uncle's spot was great - just slightly off center from home plate (towards the third base side) at the metal "troughs" behind the first section of seats. They got fantastic "seats" much cheaper than those around them if they got theirs off stub hub. Home plate section seats were going quite high, if I recall - $1500 and more. Anyway, my uncle said this game was one of the highlights of his life.

I believe that was the most people I have ever been with simultaneously. Back in 1990, I was at a conference with 20,000 people, but the attendance this night was 42,000. Now perhaps I was at a game at the Vet (seating capacity I believe 60,000+) with more people, but I don't remember it - and there certainly wasn't the emotion of a world series game then. I've never been to a Penn State game, or any of the other mega-stadiums. So I believe this was the loudest game I've ever been to, if not the largest crowd. As I stood there in the outfield and let the sheer volume of the cheers come in like waves from the ocean (I couldn't tell you if there was one single Ray fan there that night), what came to my mind? Heaven. Or, more precisely, praising God with all the other saints of all time. Standing before God and having my heart so engulfed by his majesty that praise pours out of me like it never has before ... and standing with billions of other Christians as they do the same. "Awesome" does not even begin to describe this experience. That small Phillies game was just a foretaste of the divine glory that will be revealed. What attracts us to these events, these things "bigger than life?" Is it not the faint echo of something truer, something far more satisfying that has been lost as we live apart from God in this sin-cursed world where death is chained to these bodies?

The Phillies crushed the Rays 10-4. Even the pitcher hit a home run!

God has crushed and will continue to crush his enemies - the World, the flesh, the Devil, sin and death. This victory will be worthy of all praise above any praise we have ever uttered or imagined ...

Going to game 4 of the World Series ...

Can you believe it? We have tickets for game 4 of the World Series! I am going with my dad, and my aunt and uncle are also going. This is something I never thought would come to pass. The Phillies are playing the Tampa Rays. We purchased the tickets before the previous round of the playoffs were completed, since the price was refundable if they didn't advance ...



I have dreamt about going to a World Series Game for years - and a potential clinching one for the Phillies seemed like just a wish. But here we are - those Rays spoiled the potential clincher by winning one game. It would have been nice ... but then again, it would have been nuts at a clinching game. I'll just have to watch it from home Monday night ...

We are going very early for this game ... it's 7 pm tonight and we're leaving now ... the Eagles are also playing today at home, and apparently there is a concert tonight featuring "The Who" - so parking and traffic could get interesting!

Sins that so easily beset us...

I have a particular set of sins that ebbs and flows in my experience. No, I'm not going to tell you what they are - but it involves my desires and the actions that flow from them (not a helpful description - isn't that what all sin is?). There are times when I seem to be more vulnerable and times where I can brush off temptation like so much lint off a jacket. These are things, like all sins, that are common to us all. It is so defeating to succumb yet again. It never lives up to the promise, and guilt always follows. Some people might brush this aside as inconsequential, but I cannot. I don't want this in my life anymore, and I hate when I become so foolish to think it will deliver on its promise this time.

Someday I know I will be free of these desires - for when I see Him, I will be like Him. So I know that God will get the victory over this in my life - eventually. I know that he might gain this victory even on this side of heaven. But the struggle is so hard and so relentless, it does seem at times like there is no hope. But there is. Someday there will be no more sin, no more suffering, no more death and decay! Oh what a day that will be!

I know that God is also absolutely sovereign, and therefore he arranges the events of my life so that they are for my best and his glory! He is not the author of sin and He does not tempt anyone, but he allows us to go through the suffering of resisting sin, of feeling its sting, of slow victories for reasons not yet fully revealed. Someday, I will see the top side of the tapestry, when all the "loose threads" and crossed patterns make sense - and He will get the praise.

I do not yet see sin for he horrible reality it is, and I do not see Christ for the all-surpassing, all-satisfying, glorious God He is! Sometimes I think that if I only saw Him as he is, my desire for sin would fade away. There is truth to that, and it would help if those I listen to would verbally exalt Him as He truly is - but I have begun to see that this is not the total answer. Men love darkness. I loved darkness. I still do. Not to the degree I once did - and not when I am controlled by the Spirit. I seem to be a mixture of my old self and new. I don't know if that is theologically accurate, but it is the way it feels. So while I went through a period of thinking I just needed better teachers to give me a more accurate view of the exalted Christ, there is still a problem within me. I still believe the lies.

Lord, forgive me of my lack of clarity. You are owed clear thinking and whole-hearted devotion, and I fall so short. I have been too harsh with others, thinking their "problems" could be fixed by "just" getting a better picture of you. There is no hope for the human heart but you. There is no hope but your plan, your sovereign work in my heart. Forgive me for trite advice, telling others that they "just" needed to pray, to study their Bible, to get an accountability partner, or to get a better picture of Christ. All these things do help, and they are not bad, but they are not the answer - you are. You are the one who changes people - not some technique. You are the one who reaches into a life and accomplishes what you will. You call us to strive with all your energy, to work out our salvation with trembling and fear - for it is you at work in us.

These sins are so stubborn. Your grace is sufficient. Sufficient to forgive my sins, to keep me longing to be better, and some day, in your timing, to make me like Him in this area too. I want it to be so Lord. Yesterday. Forgive me for my impatience. May you have all the glory in this area of my life - and all areas!

A Game 1 win ...

Can I invest more emotion in the Phillies? Can I pull for them to win it all yet? Or am I stuck, like most Philly fans, being so cautious of the pain of losing that I have to be pessimistic for protection? They won game 1 of the NLCS against the Dodgers. Many experts are picking them to win the NL pennant. They're winning and Howard and Utley have not woken up yet. They're getting good pitching and have a "perfect" closer. But ... But ... But will they implode? Will the Dodgers ride Manny's back to the World Series? Or will Rollins and Howard and Utley do what they are capable of and carry the Phillies to meet the AL? And will they be able to handle Boston's experience or Tampa Bay's ignorance of pressure?

I know that sports is in the wrong place in many lives. My love of the Phillies cannot compete with my love for God. But what is the proper way for a follower of Christ to enjoy the gifts he has given (and baseball is a gift)? We all love some hobby or activity - and I think God meant it to be that way. We aren't supposed to let these things get out of proportion. Whether it is hunting, bowling, reading, opera, sports, TV, fitness, our jobs, or even our family, they should never become more important to us even in a moment than God is.

My love for the Phillies does go back a long way - the 1970's. OK, I know some of you have been through the 30's, 40's, 50's and so on. But I don't remember a time when the Phillies were not my team - and for me, that might as well be 1000 years. It seems like a long time.

The last time the Phillies were in the World Series, I was in Baltimore teaching. Unfortunately, I don't remember putting too much time in watching them then - it seemed that my job took up all my energy. So although I liked the '93 team, the '80-'83 team is the one I most identify with. So this has been a long time for me. Yes, I know I'm talking like the World Series is already a definite - I guess I'm invested.

My question is, since it happens so infrequently, do I pay the exorbitant price to get a playoff ticket from StubHub? Or do I let this opportunity go, hoping they make it more than once every 15 years? In the last 15, I've lost a lot of family members - most of them Phillie fans. What does one do?

My first playoff game ...

The first playoff game I ever attended was great! Oh, the weather was lousy - raining - and it probably would have been cancelled if this was a regular season game. We were in the upper deck in the left field foul section - though in the first row. It wasn't the furthest you could get from the field, but just about ...

There were some ominous clouds moving towards the game, and the Philadelphia skyline disappeared for an hour or so due to the hard rains. However, the clouds took a path close to the stadium - but not into it. We heard thunder and had a steady drizzle - but the game went on.

It was in many ways everything I thought it would be. The view from your TV at home is obviously better than those seats, but you can't reproduce the roar of the crowd, the smells, and the experience of having your entire field of view immersed in the park. Everyone was handed a cheap white towel with a Phillies logo - not a terribly creative "rally device." I would love to have the sticks that Anaheim passes out - I understand they make some real noise when 40,000 people beat them together. However, the towels were visually effective and kept the crowd in the game.

At certain moments, the ballpark was the loudest environment I have ever been in. Granted, it was not a game full of highly-emotional moments, but there were some. It made me think what it will be like when we are in some heavenly "stadium" with the billions of saints throughout time praising the Lord with all their emotion, mind, and strength. Now that will be something! To have the Lord of Glory revealed before us all and to finally be free of sin and death to be able to do what we were made for unhindered - praising him! Now that will top even the Phillies winning the World Series :)