Well, I did it. It wasn't much, really - all I had to do was watch the clock and keep breathing. As simple as it gets - and yet utterly beyond my control. If it had been the Lord's will for me to stop breathing the moment just before I was "officially" 40, what could I have done about it? Not a thing. But here I am, still breathing, but becoming more aware of the preciousness of every breath. Someday, barring the Lord's return, my breathing will stop. Personally, I hope it's not for about 50 years. I'd like to see my kids grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. I would like to see them get married. I would like to have time with my grand-kids, should I be so blessed. More than anything, though, I want them to be there. I want to spend eternity with them praising the Lord who made us, saved us, and gave us every heavenly blessing in Christ. What tragedy it would be to spend a cherished lifetime with them, only to have them absent throughout eternity. 40 years is nothing in light of that - and so is 90. A billion years in the face of an eternity is but a blinking eye. What a strange reality the Lord has us in! 60, 70, maybe 80 or more years of this reality - this physical reality that tempts us to believe the temporal is all there is - and then ... forever.
Turning 40 doesn't mean a whole lot. We fall in love with our base 10 round numbers - just like Y2K and 100 and so on. But in base 7, I'm 55 ... and in base 12, I'm 34. Not so round. In binary, I'm 101000 - now that looks "big" and "round" - ooooh, must be significant. It's funny how we think of our lives. Yes, I'm halfway to 80 - and as my brother pointed out, a third of the way to 120. I'm closer to retirement age than my pre-teen years, and the wrinkles around my eyes show when I smile. The people I love are also getting older, and, unfortunately, loss is right around the corner - which corner, I don't know. But I know whom I have trusted with my soul, and for the number of days I have left, and for the care of my children's souls - the Lord is good.
My life has been grouped into 4 sets of 10 - I'm now marking off that fifth set day by day. The Lord knows the number of hairs on my head, as well as the days left in my life. He sees everything, knows everything, and works out his will in everything. Someday soon - it is only a moment from now - and He will reveal himself in full splendor! Will my eyes see for themselves what up until now my heart can only see through faith?
No comments:
Post a Comment