“What do I want?”

This is a great question to ask yourself, and to ask of others. It’s simple and straightforward, and yet the desires, thoughts and motives of our very core can be displayed by honest answers to this question. It fits just about any moment of any situation. What is it that is driving me to say, do, feel and think the things I do right now?

This question is in essence a summary of some of the work of Jonathan Edwards as he considered God’s Word. He spoke at length to the desires we all have in his work “The Freedom of the Will.” Edwards’ thesis in this work is that “we are free to choose that which we most desire.” Why do you do what you do in each and every moment of your life? Because you want to – you desire to. Even when we have competing desires, we will always pursue that which is greatest. This is why the things we do reveal our hearts – even though no one can see our inner motives.

“Wait,” you say, “I know there are times I would rather be fishing than at work, or times I do the dishes for the thousandth time when my back hurts.” How can you say that I always follow my greatest desire when so often I feel like I must do something out of a sense of duty, if nothing else? It is true that sometimes we do have a desire to do something other than what we are doing that seems greater. But it is not just these two desires competing, but a third (at least) enters the picture. You know that to abandon work (not speaking of vacations) is to put you job in jeopardy, and your job is how you provide for your family, support the work of your church and other causes you value, and that on occasion, it really does provide you with a sense of purpose. Thus your desire to protect your family, help others, and have a sense of accomplishment with the talents you have been given overrides the momentary desire to be fishing. Thus, even though you’d rather be fishing – you really would rather be faithful to the other causes more important to you than your own enjoyment. So even when we think we are sacrificing a greater desire, we are really doing it in service to a greater desire yet.

“Following our greatest motivation” thus highlights why sin is so offensive. When we sin, we do it because we want to do it – in spite of God’s desire for us. We believe the lie that life is found in this other thing we want rather than in God’s plan for us. This is why sin is so insidious – it promises to us exactly what we want, but hides the price we will pay. Even as Christians – people committed to Christ and His Glory – we often trade the life he offers for a momentary pleasure or power or comfort.

Next, this shines light on the reality that we are not all tempted by exactly the same things. Yes, we are tempted by the similar categories of sin – i.e. pride, lust, greed, self-centeredness, etc. – but the actual things that “hook” our hearts may be different. The things that set off pride for a businessman may be different than for a pastor or a stay-at-home mother – yet they all struggle with pride. The things we want may be as different as our hobbies, careers, or tastes in food – but it is the desire that is in our heart that tempts us (James 1:13-15). Thus, what tempts me may be perfectly innocent for my brother, and we must be careful not to assign our struggles to someone else.

The final thing this points to is the fact that external remedies (isolation, boundaries, fleeing etc.) may be of some value in the moment, but ultimately the thing we need the most is heart change (and it’s the one thing none of us can do for another or even ourselves). We need to desire different things. I am not kept pure merely by the avoidance of situations that may tempt me – although it is Biblical and wise to flee moments of temptation rather than to fall into sin – but by the change of my desires from the things of this world (yes, even good things out of proportion) to the things that please God’s heart. Monasteries were a fine idea – until humans were let in. In spite of their extremely rigorous rules and ascetic conditions, monasteries still found the same sins present as in the rest of the world. The human heart will find ways to go on its own, to chase its own desires. We don’t need a better environment, ultimately – we need a Savior. Christ is yet our example: when the “pressures” of all He went through in his crucifixion and separation from the Father, look at what came out of his heart. When the sponge is squeezed, the liquid that comes out was what was already in there. What comes out of your heart when the pressures of the moment squeeze you?

When Christ is lifted up in all His Glory, he not only draws men to himself for salvation, but captures more and more the hearts of his children. I am convinced that what I need more often than not is a true, vibrant mental picture or understanding of the glorious appeal of Christ for who He is so that the trinkets of earth that so easily amuse me fade into dust in comparison with Him. I need not just to shun sin, but to desire Christ more!

If the gospel has any power – and it does – then it is the answer for us not only when we first come to Christ, but for living life every day thereafter. “What do you want?” – a simple, but powerful spotlight on your heart.