Lowering the standard for legalists

Once again, my perfectionistic mindset has wreaked havoc on my day. How can I possibly have God's favor when I keep committing the same sins over and over? There are times when I feel so strong, and other when I feel so weak. I've read enough from other people to realize that I probably have it backwards - when I feel strong, I'm probably most vulnerable. It just seems that I trip so easily on things when I feel weak. I guess it's really not right to say I feel weak. I don't feel anything in particular - except the desire I want to fulfill. It's only afterwards that the shame comes. But I trust the Lord when he says that when we ask forgiveness, he is faithful and true for His name's sake. And I marvel again ...

But I was thinking about my long history of perfectionism and legalism and wondered why it has such a strong hold on me. I don't think I am alone on this. In fact, being a rather black-or-white person, I tend to see myself as either living right or failing. And, in an absolute sense, that's true. But the gospel allows me to live a bit more in the gray - I have been forgiven, justified, and set upon a course of steady growth (of God's doing) called sanctification. I am not, praise God, what I once was. And I am not yet what I will be one day. I am somewhere in the gray zone between those two points. But for a long time, I oscillated between legalism (my "preferred" option) and saying it just doesn't matter how one lives - it's all by grace. Neither option was satisfying, but I saw no other option.

As my world regains "shades of gray" (not talking situational ethics, but rather transformation from the dark of night to day), I am on the lookout for things to help me with such struggles. One resource I found today is at http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/AskPastorJohn/ByTopic/51/2916_Should_we_teach_that_good_works_come_with_saving_faith/

Here, Dr. Piper speaks of how many of us hear the gospel and hear that good works are an "inevitable" product of true faith, and conclude that it really is all about works after all.

I would add perhaps to it by saying that there are many of us, including some preachers, who deal with the same dilemma I found myself - am I "doing good" and therefore OK with God, or have I messed up again, throwing everything into question - including whether I am truly one of God's. Sometimes, I believe, we talk and think and act like God made it possible through Jesus to accept a "lower standard" of good works to make us right with Him. Now, we don't worry about the impossible things like complete purity of thought, motive, and deed - instead we institute new standards of our own making ... avoiding things like smoking, dancing, and playing cards, or doing things like attending every church function whenever the doors are open, ritual prayers, dressing a certain way, speaking in Christianese, and checking off our duties as we give, sing, and sit.

We are legalistic, just as much as those who claim to live up to the demands of the law. We're just "smart" legalists who recognize the futility of that and make up instead our own lists. But maybe we're worse off, for we "can" actually reach our made-up standards. What would it take to wake us up then?

Trust Jesus?

I was recently listening to someone speak who urged the listening audience to "Trust Jesus. Just Trust Him. Trust Him and He won't let you down." Now, all of that is true. People should trust Jesus and He will not let you down, but this was done in an evangelistic, or at least a potentially mixed audience, setting. I hate to say this, but it dawned on me that we have become slightly like used car salesman, politicians, and ad agencies.

Now, I don't want to be offensive. Consider, though, what it sounds like to someone who either doesn't know Jesus or has a negative impression of Him. You aren't explaining who He is, what He has done, why He is trustworthy, or even why we should care about trusting Him in the first place. You're trying to sell an unknown "product" to a world that doesn't know they need Him. It's one thing to do this in a Christianized society - though I wonder if we were really as thoroughly Christianized as some histories say - but it's another to do this when the average person has no experience learning about Jesus.

There is nothing magical about the words "trust" and "Jesus" - they may mean different things to different people, anyway. The words only communicate when people know what you mean by them. Now, I'm not getting postmodern - those words have real meanings, and they are not so malleable that they mean anything you want them to - but we need to have more than a missile oriented approach.

People need to know who Jesus is and why He came. If they don't see their need, Jesus is at best, a secondary life issue - and perhaps no better than other religious leaders. If they understand who God is and who they are, their need will, or at least should, become the most pressing issue in their life. If they understand their dire situation before a Holy God, only then will they see Jesus as the solution and treasure of their life.

Trust Jesus? Absolutely. But tell them what you mean by that. It's not a 10-second conversation, though, and you must genuinely care about the person in front of you ...

Capital letters ...

I just wanted to note here that I normally use capital letters for pronouns referring to any person of the Trinity. I do this somewhat out of respect, I guess (though I do not think God is disrespected by using lower case letters - they are only a language convention), but more so that it is clear when a pronoun refers to God. I have found some sentences from other works to be very confusing because there are so many "he"s and too many possible objects to refer to.

I'm not entirely consistent with it, but I try to be. And I just thought I'd let you know ...

Motivate by fear, guilt, or love?

As I was driving, I was thinking about some of the sermons I have heard recently that impacted me. Lately, I have been drawn to those that speak most directly of Christ (as opposed to mere moralism with a call to accept Christ tacked on) - elaborating on his Glory, expounding on his love for sinners, and explaining what he has done for us. It has become such an astounding source of comfort and motivation that I have come to dislike teaching that centers only on fear or guilt. This may be a phase in my growth as a Christian, I don't know, but it feels like a great shift to me.

I was a performance-oriented person - actually, I still am, but to a lesser degree - who felt the crushing weight of the law, of being sinful before a Holy God. There was certainly an element of fear in my first coming to Christ. Fear of what was waiting for me if I stood naked before a Holy God. There was also guilt - guilt over things I had done that could never really be put right, and guilt over things I should have done but didn't.

These things - fear and guilt - did motivate me. At first, to try to be better, and then to despair of my efforts. They were condemning and crushing. But then, at some of my lowest points came the realization of the truth that I did in fact believe Christ is who He said he was, and that I had no other hope but Him. But then, astonishingly, I found that he was not interested in a slave, but a son! He did not want to condemn me for my past, but bore the condemnation for it himself! There really was no more condemnation for those in Christ! To learn and to see how filthy I was, and yet how much greater His love - from what world does such love come from? Certainly not this one ...

Christ's love is so much more motivating than even the Holy Fear and Holy Guilt I felt. Fear and guilt were good for driving me to the cross, and they were somewhat effective in keeping me from great sin. But, they did little to motivate me to act sacrificially and they didn't help with those little pesky sins that dog us all. I would even go so far as to say that fear and guilt can make us conform, but only love empowers us to suffer for another. To choose to suffer unjustly for the sake of another is truly Christ-like, and utterly beyond the normal nature of man. To suffer unjustly for a long time, without complaining or boasting? That would be truly other-worldly.

Now, I don't want to suffer. I especially don't want to suffer in the way of watching loved ones suffer. I don't want to ever have anything catastrophic happen to my kids. Or my wife. God is sovereign, and he does sometimes call his people to suffer that way, and, in that, I fear. I know intellectually that His will is always best, and that nothing better could happen than his plan. But I shudder at the thoughts I have like this ...

If God should call me to suffer like this - and I pray wholeheartedly that He does not - the only thing that will get me through this is His love. It won't be fear of Him, as irreverent as that sounds, and it won't be guilt - like knowing I shouldn't feel such things. Those motivations would fall to the ground, I suspect, like a broken piece of costume jewelry - fancy-looking, but relatively worthless. It is only His love that could sustain me through such a time.

And if it is only love that could get me through such a time, it is only love that can truly motivate on an every-day basis. It is only understanding His Glory and His Joy from with His love that can sustain me day to day. I think that's why Christian fads appear. We all know we need something to sustain us. Some believe it's excitement. Some novelty. Some discipline. And some just resign themselves that life must go from extreme highs to extreme lows. But I wonder ... what if people were given a steady diet of the Glory of God and His love for them? The denial of ourselves, and the complete embracing of Him. What if ...

1 John 3:1a

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

Today I was with a group of people discussing this section of scripture. I encouraged them to slow down and consider each phrase, even every word, in this section. We often speed right by such precious words without a second thought.

To think that God lavishes his love on us - how many of us would use that word to describe how we think God acts towards us? I know that I would not have naturally chosen such a word - not that I thought that God was stingy with his love, but perhaps it is best captured by being "appropriate" in His love. I could see perhaps how God could love us the way we all love those distant relatives who are obnoxious and self-centered, yet still part of the family. Or perhaps that God would love us, but not want to "spoil" us or go overboard in his public display of affection. But instead, John tells us that God lavishes his love on us - he pours it out overflowing, uninhibited, and unashamed. Someone brought up the illustration they read about the frosting on a cake - most of us would put a moderate amount, maybe more than is absolutely necessary to cover the surface, but still a "reasonable" amount. But to "lavish" icing is to take multiple containers and just put it on as thick as you can, with no regard to cost, "normal cakes," or the mess it makes. To think that we are like the cake sitting there with God pouring out his love upon us is truly beyond explanation. None of us deserve it, and none of us can reciprocate it.

For God to do such a thing for me - a great sinner, blind to my own need, dead in ability to desire God, and deserving only of punishment - well, who can reject such love? Especially when your rejection of it does not lessen it. Instead, God loves you so much as to change you from the inside, to change your desires, to change who you are so that you do see, dimly perhaps, but seeing Him nonetheless as desirable.

What does this great love do for us? Nothing less than change our identity. No longer are we Americans or Germans, or Ethiopians, or computer programmers, or teachers, or sinners, or thieves, or liars - no, instead we are "children of God!" This is not the abused phrase that people sometimes use in reference to humanity in general, but of something far more personal. We now become adopted into God's family! He becomes our identity, our defining point. No longer are we those other things we use to designate ourselves - we are children of God, co-heirs with Christ, one day to be made like Him when we see Him. Everything else becomes something secondary - I am no longer an American, but a "little Christ" who happens to live in America. I am no longer a liar, but a "Christian" who sometimes stumbles into lying. I am no longer a teacher, but a Child of God skillfully disguised as one who teaches. I am His.

Who am I to be called a child of God? No one. Less than no one - I should be called an enemy of God. But God has lavished his love upon me and so I am now His child. Nothing can change that. And my dad isn't finished with me, but knows the plans he has for me. One day, though, I'll be like Him.

Time slips by ...

Wow, it's been almost two weeks since I last posted. I knew I did not post last week, as I was in California for a wedding ... Life continues to dissipate as a vapor ...

How do we mark time i such a way that we are more conscious of its passing? The sun rises and sets on one day so fast - how can we make ourselves realize the preciousness of these days without becoming obsessed or depressed with their passing? How do we number our days?

I am approaching middle age ... well, perhaps I am middle age, but close enough to its beginning that I can deny it a bit in my mind ... or maybe I'm still considered youth by others ... I don't know.

I do not know the day of my death, but I know who does. It could be today, tomorrow or 50 years from now. Worrying about it can not extend my life by a single minute, though I want to live long ... If I live to be 75, I will have lived 27,375 days - over half of which have already passed. 27 thousand days seems like a lot -enough in fact, to waste a few with little consequence. Yet 27 thousand dollars is not a ton of money today, and 27 thousand fans at a baseball game is not near capacity for most major league stadiums. 27 thousand grains of sand is probably much less than a bucketful, and 27 thousand seconds is 7.6 hours. Twenty-seven thousand days is not much time - especially when compared to eternity. In fact, compared to eternity, 27 thousand is less than the equivalent of one grain of sand to all the beaches in all the world. But during that grain of time, relationships are made, character is developed, and a destiny is reaped.

So, though two weeks slipped by like bathwater down a drain, important things happened. I went to California and interacted with family at a wedding, worshipped the Lord at a Church in Los Angeles, read books, enjoyed some attractions, and invested my time in my immediate family. I did not make the time to post, though much happened that caused me to reflect. The Lord is good to bring things in my life that cause me to see where my allegiances lie in "the moments" of life. There were times of joy, times of satisfaction, times when the opinions of others were to influential, and times when my desires ruled.

How much I need a savior to save me from myself - and to enlarge my life beyond the boundaries of "me!" My life is not bound to those 27,375 days (or whatever it actually turns out to be), but instead bound to the eternal God and Father through Christ, who gives meaning far beyond these years on earth. I am not what I do, I am not what I don't do - I am defined by my relationship to God. I am a "little Christ" by His grace - a fellow partaker of His nature, an adopted son, a member of His family. Time slips by - but I am in His hand ...

Why it is good to see the depth of our sin ...

The questions we ponder are vital because they represent where "the rubber meets the road" in our life. Good theology is essential, but unless you begin to process it and reflect on it, it adds little value to your life. I have been "chewing the cud" on the uglyness of my sin and the glory of our Savior and wanted to say a couple of things, primarily from my experience and the path God has brought me on thus far. So, here goes ....

It is good to focus on our sin

• because we think more highly of ourselves than we ought
• because we don't understand the depth of our need of Christ
• because we tend to reduce our concept of sin to things we personally don't struggle with but see other do
• because we tend to trivialize sin to just the big, obvious sins of adultery, murder (abortion), or violence
• because we tend as a larger community to make up our own standards of sin - smoking, drinking, dancing, length of hair, wearing anything but a suit to church, having our kids in public school, no facial hair, not hunting animals, or failing to "do church" the way we prefer - that have little or nothing to do with the life God to which calls his people
• because we often become complacent in our "goodness" and slip into self-righteousness, looking down upon others
• because we need to know how hard the struggle against sin really is if we are going to help another person grow in Christ to overcome their tenacious sin
• it tends to kill pride

It is good, when we see the depth of our sin, to focus on Christ

• because we see our utterly helpless condition and His great love for us
• because we see that this is not just actions that can be blindly reconditioned, but goes to the very core of our being in what we treasure, long for, desire, and believe
• because He is our only hope
• because we must despair of our ability to stand before God as a "basically good person" and throw ourselves completely on the grace of Christ freely offered
• because we must see ourselves as unprofitable servants of the Most High, dependent on Him for the smallest ability to help another
• because sins, whether "respectable" or "despicable" still deserve the wrath of God for eternity
• because we must learn to love one another through our sins, deferring to one another, putting aside preferences, and considering others more than we consider ourselves
• because we dare not reduce the gospel to mere respectable behavior, but know the depth and Glory of it so that our exuberance for it is not contrived, but flows out of a truly grateful heart
• because God calls us to wage war on sin, and we do not have the strength for the battle in ourselves - but Christ does, and He lives in us
• because humility, being poor in spirit, being crushed, being contrite, being repentant, and being meek are traits that God values in people he aids

When we see that sin is so wretched and dark, and we see that it is in us, we long for the light freely given. When we understand the truth about ourselves, and then understand what God has done for us, there is no other response that is appropriate but love, gratefulness, humility, thankfulness, joy, peace, and awe. We will want to be patient with others as we understand how the Lord is patient with us. We will want to be kind because he has been kind. We will want to be gentle because he has been gentle with us. We will grow in self-control as the Spirit grows us to see what He has done on our behalf.

In short, it seems that to fail to note the depth of our sin and our struggle with it - and the depth of Christ's love and His victory over sin and death and His provision for the struggle - leaves us with a stunted capability of love for the Lord. In Luke 7, we see Jesus being anointed by a "sinful woman." The parable he tells points to the fact that those who have a greater debt cancelled, love the person who forgave the debt more. It's not so much that the "sinful woman"s sins were so much worse than the pharisees or ours, but that she knew how sinful she was. The Pharisees thought they were basically good people, not in desperate need of help - so they loved Jesus little. This woman knew she had no hope but Christ's mercy, so when he freely forgave her, her response was one of deep, unashamed love. And that seems like such a great place to be that it is worth struggling with the depth of our sin and the filthiness of our "righteousness" before God.

It is not just looking into the deep, dark stench of a well that our sin is, but that from within the well, we see the gloriousness of the rescue of our souls by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The darker the darkness, the more stunning the light is in comparison.

Speaking Truth in Love

This is a thought I return to frequently ... in a way, it has become my favorite self-correcting phrase ...

Speaking truth in love. I have heard others speak on this concept, and I have pondered it many times. It helps me center myself when dealing with a difficult person and when I am dealing with someone I don't want to hurt.

Without truth, love becomes mere sentiment - a "go, I wish you well" outlook on the world that is not offensive, but has little real value. Love without truth becomes cruel, saying I care about you but I will not help you - because I want you to be "happy" being yourself. Frankly, I need help to keep me from becoming my own downfall. If you love me, you'll get involved in my life - especially when I am on a destructive path.

Without love, truth becomes callous and hardened, uncaring, and destructive - putting demands on us, but offering no help to us to meet those demands. Truth is like a reinforced concrete bunker, impervious even to the radiation of an atomic blast. It is real, but it offers nothing to those who fail ...

Ah, but truth in love ... that is balm to the soul, help to the weak, rest to the weary, and comfort to the afflicted. In some respects, not dissimilar to the structure of a human being. Truth is the hard reality that gives shape to our life, but it is not bare. It is instead surrounded by a layer of flesh, of warmth and softness and strength that cover the starkness of the truth into something more familiar, more attractive ... a person.

To speak truth in love seems to be the highest goal a human being has for his interactions with others. To speak truth into their life in such a way that they receive it, that they see its beauty, and that they see its value. To speak truth patiently, kindly, to look to the interest of others before your own, and to not have your own agenda is to love. To speak in such a way that truth is received and recognized for what it is, a precious gem or a light that guides your path for your benefit. This is what it means to speak the truth in love.

God himself has spoken. I believe He has spoken through His Word and through His Son. Jesus is the Truth. God is Love. What He does, he does for ultimate goodness. We don't have Jesus here before us today, and though God's invisible qualities are apparent in creation, they don't give us enough. We need to see, in our mind's eye, Jesus as the embodiment of Love and Truth, sent from the Father to us. We can look to others as living embodiments of His image, but that image is marred, impure, and dim. We see Him through faith, to be sure, but not just faith in faith, or faith for its own sake or faith in fables or cunningly devised tales. Instead we see Jesus as He is by God's Word. If God Himself does not tell us what He is like, we are lost. If God Himself did not preserve the record of his coming, we would have clue. We are at His Mercy - to have patience with us, to have pity on us, to condescend to come down to us. We need his benevolence to take the next breath.

Truth in love. Christ is the model. He did not compromise truth, yet spoke appropriately to people to give them what they needed, in order to accomplish His purposes in the moment. He drew people to himself, though he often offended some. He attracted the weak, the suffering, and the powerless, yet did not spurn the strong, the proud, and the powerful. He confronted all of them on occasions with their sin and their need for Him.

He was not interested in a show, nor did he try to accumulate political power. He called the greatest in His Kingdom to serve others. He turned the world's values upside-down. He did not compromise himself, yet he did not bow to political correctness. He honored God above men, yet did not needlessly offend. He piqued the interest of Roman officials and of prostitutes. He spoke to people and they immediately left home and livelihood to follow Him. He is not safe, but He is good.

Truth in Love. Truth and Love in action. Two legs of a runner spreading the Good News to the ends of the Earth ...

Living life in the "already - not yet"

Yesterday, I found myself in a discussion about change in our lives - both before and after we become a Christian. It's something that for whatever reason, is hard for us to figure out. We spend much time outwardly conforming to the external standards and demands placed upon us, without inner change taking place. One example is the wearing of suits. I find little basis for judging someone's spirituality or even professionalism on whether they wear a suit or not. I know some fine people who wear suits, and some people who wear suits who I wouldn't trust with a quarter. I know some people who are skilled - both with people and their area of expertise - who wear shorts and t-shirts everywhere. There does not seem to be a correlation of skill or "spirituality" with the clothes one wears. Personally, I am much more comfortable in jeans or shorts and I wear them whenever I can. But, I have had some people come up to me and let me know that they do consider dress a mark of spirituality and professionalism. I've tried to persuade a couple of people otherwise, but they get offended. At the same time, I don't want to unnecessarily offend others, so it is just easier for me at times to wear the suit ... but sometimes I feel like we have elevated the "whitewashed tombs full of dead men's bones" to be a social virtue. I'm more interested to know what is in someone's heart than what they wear ...

In a similar way, there is change that is purely external. It's the type of change that often comes from fear or powerlessness. If someone has the ability to make your life unpleasant, you will probably find a way to modify your behavior in order to avoid suffering. But it doesn't really change you on the inside. You have found a way to conform and avoid attention, but inwardly you know that your desire is to do otherwise. This inward change is something that rarely happens - and to have your desires line up with Christ's? That's truly a supernatural change. People who have not recognized Christ as Lord of the universe have some other person or idea as the defining influence in their life - and it's usually self. We live for our own agenda, for our own pleasure, for our own values, and for our own preservation.

When someone begins to trust Christ alone for their life, a change begins to occur at the deepest level - no more do we see self on the throne as the ultimate experience. When we are brought to life by Christ, we believe and are justified. We are declared "righteous" in the heavenly court because of the grand exchange. Our sin is given to Christ, who bears the punishment for them. And His righteousness is given to us - all the goodness of Christ is credited to our legal account. Because of this, we are accepted and adopted in God's family instead of being condemned as the rebellious enemies of God that we are. So, legally, our status has permanently changed. We are adopted sons and daughters of the Most High. We have been given every heavenly blessing in Christ and we are seated "in the heavenlies" with Him. We are fully forgiven and there is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ!

And yet ... we still sin. Not just in the things we do. Not just by not doing the things we should. But in our very attitudes, desires, and thoughts. The inner life that often - but not always - works its way out to our actions. So if we are a new creature in Christ, capable of great change through the Spirit, why do we still struggle? Because we are still not yet what we will be. One day, those who have been justified (declared righteous) - those who in the power of the Spirit have grown in Christ-likeness (progressive sanctification) - when we see Him, we will be like Him. However God chooses to consummate our sanctification and glorification, we will be like Christ! It is a guaranteed conclusion because of what Christ has done. His final victory in us has been purchased, guaranteed, and won.

So, we are already part of His family, already seated in the heavenly places, already made perfect in Christ - but we are not yet there, not yet what we will be, and not yet free from the effects of sin. We are already all of those things promised to us, but we have not yet been given the full extent of the gift.

Thu, we have the ability to grow, the need to grow, the desire to grow, and the guarantee that we will grow - never fully reaching perfection this side of the grave. One day, though, we will be like Christ...